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Hi there,I'm new here. I want some information about my child contact and safety.
Me and My ex divorce almost two years and our only son live with his mum.his mum married a African man. they're very good with my son from the beginning. but his mum several occasion stop me to see my son. again she let me to see him.it was all time on and off. I own't pressure her due to my son wellness. Here I also mention that I also married and my wife has two kids from her previous relationship and we both has our own daughter they all living with us. My ex always use my son as her protector and emmotionaly black mail to me. she some times called me to pick up my son from her house but if her husband there she told me to drop him to the baby sitter house. several occasion she and her husband called police or threaten me to call police when I wanted to see my son. now every other weekend or whenever suit for her she let me to see my son but doesn't allow to take him to holiday. even I booked Disneyland holiday this march for him,but she won't let me to take him. very recently my son told my wife that his step dad hit him on his back but his mum didn't know that. I talked with social worker and lawyer about that they told me to apply for his custody and it will very costly. I don't want he will miss his mum love, I want want my son safety and regular contact with him and I just wanted to sometimes take him holidays for his enjoyment.
Please give some advice
N.B. when she gave me divorce letter there she told whenever I want I can take my son, just give some times to prepare him
Hi there and welcome 🙂
I understand how you must be feeling, you want to protect your son but at the same time you recognize that he has a loving relationship with his mother.
I think the first step for you would be to try Mediation. This is where you would attend at a local centre and talk with a trained Mediator, you would talk through the concerns that you have about his safety and regular contact and then the Mediator would write to your ex and ask her to attend to to talk about the issues that you have raised, and maybe any concerns that she has too. After that the Mediator would ask you both to attend together and hopefully with the guidance of the Mediator you would be able to talk together and reach a better understanding and agreement on the way forward.
Here is a link to the Mediation service ~ www.nfm.org.uk.
If you are unsure about where to find your nearest Mediation service you could use the Mediation website above to find out where to go, or you can use a website that will find the nearest service to you if you put in the town where you live or even a postcode. Heres a link to that website too
www.findmediation.co.uk
If this doesnt work or your ex refuses to attend then you will be given a form called FM1 by the Mediator which you will need if you decide to go to court to get regular contact. As you rightly say this can very costly if you use a solicitor, but you can do it yourself. There is more information about this at the top of the Legal Eagle section on here, its called How to Represent yourself in Court.
Good luck 🙂
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