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Hi im looking for advise on how to sort out a problem with leeds social care department they have imposed a 5 hour a week with my three children and i want more this was all imposed as a result in an accusation from my oldest son who said i was beating him i have been in their lives all thier lives my oldest is 10 next month and i dont find it very fair that im still getting punished for something that even police dropped as they couldnt find anything to charge me with please help i cant go on like this and i need to get advice from somewhere myself and my ex partner are still married tho we have been seperated over a year and a half now she has a new partner now and swears she will not stop me seeing my children but i cant get to as leeds social care are always interfearing in our business i suffer from bipolar and i cant take much more of the stuff they are doing to me with regards to my kids i feel i should just give up and move on let them all fight between themselves as i dont want to be part of it its shocking the way im getting treated i dont get a say on what happens in my kids life and i find that very hard to deal wth as i have been there all their lives up till when they came in and took over if i was a dad that was in and out of there lives then maybe id be able to understand their attitude but i am not and i want more contact and to be able to make decisions on their lives i want my right as a dad which has been taken away from me please help
I'll ask the Family Rights Group if this is something they can advise on. I would say, however, that you may have to accept the limitations for the moment and work with the Social Services to get the time increase over a period of time.
Dear Kingteflon,
I am sorry about the difficulties that you are experiencing having contact with your children. You say that children services (new name for social services), have limited your contact to 5 hours a week but that you would like to have more.
It is not clear why children services want contact to be limited because you don’t say in your post. It may also be that the original reason for limiting contact has now changed. For example, you say you suffer from bi polar. May be you had had a crisis-but are now more stable. So contact could safely increase.
First of all, I suggest you have a meeting with, or email the social worker. You could discuss the following:
• Tell them that you would like to see more of your children.
• Ask them to confirm what needs to happen to have more contact with your children.
• if contact is supervised-ask them whether it always has to be-or whether they can assess you to see whether it can now become unsupervised.
• If contact is supervised-and in a contact centre-can a family member or friend supervise contact? This would mean that you may be able to agree more hours.
• Ultimately, you could always apply to court for a contact order. Although children services are likely to be asked to prepare a report for the court-it will at least be scrutinized by a judge.
You say that you want to be more involved with decisions about your children and be more involved in their upbringing. As you were married to Mum you will still have parental responsibility for them (even if you were to get divorced from her). So for example, you could ask that the school send you the school reports, that children’s services keep you informed about their involvement etc.
Here is a link to our frequently asked questions for fathers
frequently asked questions for fathers
These are just some pointers. If you want further advise you could contact Family Rights Group on our advice line on 0808 801 0366. Or email advice@frg.org.uk or join our parents forum parentsforum
Best wishes,
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
