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Hello all.
I am sure that I am not the only father that finds myself in this predicament, so hopefully someone would be able to give me some advice on what to do next or where to go for help.
After divorcing my wife a few years ago, I went through the usual expensive routine of getting a contact order to see our daughter, every second weekend and never a christmas day. Soon after getting the court order the problems began, I lived an hour away from my daughter, and would contact my ex-wife in the week leading up to my weekend contact to confirm that she would be ready for me on the Friday afternoon. this worked for a few weeks, but eventually despite having reassurances from my ex that my daughter would be ready, on the Friday afternoon, just 5minutes before I was due to collect her, I would get a text message saying I could not have my daughter for the weekend, apparently there were family plans …..
This happened time and time again, and eventually I lost contact with my daughter altogether. I have now not seen my daughter since August 2010. I want to see my daughter again, but I do not know what options are available to me. I can not afford a solicitor, as I'm still paying the last one for the original court order. My ex also has a history of violence and I don't want to appear on the door step and let my daughter witness this kind of violence. I am almost sure that my ex would be dead set against mediation ………… what else can I do?
I hope that there is someone on here with some advice.
P.S I am paying maintenance monthly through the CSA
Hi and welcome on here.
Firstly, whatever you do, don't turn up on her doorstep as she'll probably call the police and you could end up being arrested, which won't help your cause.
It may be worth contacting your ex and asking that you wish contact to resume, and if she is reluctant to cooperate, you could then try mediation - however, this isn't cheap, so you need to look at the costs of this and whether she would attend.
Your next course of action is probably going back to court to have the contact order enforced - do you still have any of the texts? It would probably help your case in court - you can represent yourself in court, so the only costs are the court fee of around £200. We can ask the CCLC for advice if you need any clarification, and you can contact them directly through their webchat or phone.
Hi There,
Welcome along.
I agree with acdt, at least make contact before hand asking for conact to resume, then you have at least tried before going the official route.
Good luck and keep us posted especially if you go to court as many of us have self represented and can give you advice and support.
Darren
Hi Darren and thanks for the reply.
I didn't mention it in my last post, but I have tried to contact my ex, text messages are left unanswered and phone calls are not answered, the phone I did buy my daughter to keep in contact has obviously been discarded and I can't get through on that line either.
Not sure what else to do
Patrick
Make sure you keep a record of all texts and communications. Have a read of yoji's "guide to representing yourself" at the top of the legal eagle section - that will give you a good idea of the process.
I'll ask the CCLC to pop by and give some advice.
Hi Murphy
Firstly I would advise that you try and contact your daughter’s mother and inform her that you would like to start contact up again. You can explain that the Contact Order you have is still legally binding and ask that contact is started up again on that basis, you can explain that the reason you have left contact since August 2010 is because you felt that things were not working but that you would like to try and make the order workable again.
If the mother is fine with this you can commence contact again. However if the mother is unwilling to allow this you can apply to court to have the Contact Order enforced, you can apply for enforcement on form C79 this can form can be found at your local County Court or Family Proceedings Court or online at www.justice.gov.uk. There is a charge for making this application of up to £200. The court does have the option of finding your ex wife in contempt of court for breaching the order, they have a variety of sanctions available to them that they could impose. However as you have not made any attempt to enforce the order over the last two years the court may be reluctant to impose any sanctions, they may decide to just reiterate that the order is still legally binding and should be followed.
The fact that you are paying maintenance through the CSA for your child will not alter things, maintenance is seen as an entirely separate matter to contact. You have a legal obligation to pay maintenance regardless of any contact you may have with your daughter.
If you require any further advice please do not hesitate to contact us. Our advice line phone service on 0808 802008 is available Mon-Fri between 8:00-20:00, and our online web chat service at www.childrenslegalcentre.com is available Mon-Fri between 09:00-18:00.
Yours Sincerely
CORAM Children’s Legal Centre
Hi There as actd has said having all the messages will help, also try sending a recorded letter to her asking for contact to resume, she will have to sign for it so won't be able to deny she recieved it as she could claim with the txt, have the address typed on the envelope incase she recognises your hand writting.
Darren
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