[Solved] need step by step help

Hi,

sorry to hear your going through this.

First thing to say is it is increasingly common, and when this happens emotions are raw so try and keep it together cause the next dew months are likely to be stormy.

Key thing is to remember having your childrens interest at all times.
Try and communicate with your ex if your able to....keep copy of all correspondence.
There are a number of previous threads of sample letters trying to get the ex to think about the children (including your step daughter) and put her feelings aside in their best interest.
If this fails try mediation - you will need to to consider court. She may or may not attend, but ask the mediation firm to contact her to confirm her attendance. Either way at mediation just get your FM1 form signed so if worst comes to worst - you can file with the courts.
You will need to apply for a C100 form, the ways of completing this are shown on the sticky posts on the site.

Good luck, there are a lot of wise heads here so do not lose hope or heart.

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Hi there,

Have you tried Mediation before submitting your application to court?

Did you know that you can claim an exemption for the court fees if you are on benefits or a low income?

Did you fill out a C1a form at the same time as the C100? This is to tell the court of any concerns you have and you would have included the assaults on you, you would also mention things like drug or alcohol use. If you have admitted to it on the C100 then you could have mentioned that she also uses on this form.

Did you ask for an interim contact order on the C100? This is where you would request this, without it the judge may not be open to discussing it at the first hearing...In light of the issues with the cautions the judge may not have given you one anyway until the risk can be assessed and welfare reports done.

I'm not going to lie to you, having accepted a caution for assault and with the caution for cannabis it's not going to be a smooth ride. The court will want welfare reports and maybe drug testing. If there has been any social Services involvement in the past this will be bought into it.

In the circumstances it might be better to expect the worse, the judge is likely not to allow contact until reports have been done and then it could well be supervised in a contact centre.

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I think it's relevant to include the suicide attempts this should go on the C1a form which you can fill in and add to your C100 application....but do it as soon as.

If you have stopped using cannabis there's no need to mention it but she probably will, also there's the caution for cannabis so the court will know about it at some point. I would wait for the judge to order the test, it will be a hair strand test not a blood test and the judge will ask for the test to go back 3-6 months I would think....maybe more. If the judges orders it then you should say that you haven't got the money to pay for one...

Because of the cautions for assault and the non molestation she will be entitled to legal aid so she will have a solicitor to represent her....if you wait for her side to ask for drug testing then you can ask the cost to be met by them and legal aid would pay, otherwise they are very expensive, you're talking hundreds.

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I think you would benefit from some direct support. Here's a link to a website that will direct you to a Families Need Fathers meeting local to you. FNF meetings are for people that are self representing and they can offer legal advice and the meetings provide an opportunity to meet other dads going through the same kind of things. There are dads here that would recommend these meetings and have found them very helpful.

www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support/local-branch-meetings

Not sure where you are based mate - but I would recommend one of these groups at your earliest convenience.

Bw