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hi there, hope ive got this in the right place.
well where to start, i have an 8year old daughter, that up untill a month ago i was seeing every sat/sun.
Ive never been in a relationship with her mother, you get the picture.
Ive always seemed to be walking on thin ice, nothing seems to be good enough, ive arranged to take paige to the seaside or on a day out, obviously told her mum only for her to demand i take her back.
Recently we hardly speak, only me to ask what time i have to have paige back.
It feels like shes been trying to turn paige against me, calling me a glorified babysitter, only for paige to say the same to me. I do anything she wants.
Now its 3weeks since ive seen my girl, her mum telling me that paige doesnt want to see me, i cant believe that, we always have a good time together.
I dont have facebook but my friends and girlfriend have, ive seen paiges mum is really ripping me to bits, saying things that just arnt true.
Ive been with my girlfriend over 6 years and we're engaged. all her family loved paige when we used to go round to see the hamsters and it didnt seem to bother paiges mum.
Shes also telling everyone shes moving away from york to beverly. i know its not the other end of the country but i dont believe she wants me to know.
Also, my name isnt on the birth certificate, could i do this on my own? Ive got my paternity test results 99.9% in writing.
Thankyou in advance and i think ive got it all down
Hi Karl
I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time and big respect for being there for your little girl through all the difficulties over the years.
Children will often say what they think their parent wants to hear...if her mum is always putting you down all the time, your daughter will pick it up, it doesnt mean that she doesnt love you, because as you say, you spend every weekend together and will have formed a really strong bond over the past 8yrs.
I think it would be a good idea to get Parental Responsibility, and you can do this without the mothers consent or agreement. It would mean applying to court and it would cost £200. You dont need a solicitor to do this, you would need to fill in Form C1 and hand it into the court with the fee. You can get this form either by downloading it from www.justice.gov.uk or calling in at your nearest family court and picking one up. If you are unemployed or on a low income you would be eligible for Legal Aid.
At the same time that you apply for PR you could also apply for a defined contact order. This is called the C100 Contact Order and you will find some information about this in a sticky at the top of the Legal Eagle section. There is also a Guide to Representing yourself in Court Guide in the same place which also has lots of helpful advice.
I would suggest you try Mediation but from what you say there is virtually no communication between you and the mother so I cant see it being helpful, however I'll include a link to their website for you to look at ~ www.nfm.org.uk
If you can, try and get a copy of the nasty comments that she makes on Facebook and keep any txts etc she may have sent. This might be helpful if you go to court.
Good luck with everything 🙂
hi thankyou so much for that, i was feeling in a rut not knowing what to do.
I have saved the recent txts and ive got a couple of pictures of what she wrote on facebook.
Thanks again 🙂
well had a bit of a turnaround i think.
Ive just worked all this recent weekend for the the £200 id need to go with the C1 form.
Monday comes and i get a message of paiges mother saying she wants to stop the bickering and for us to sit down and write down our problems with each other.
Im excited because ill see my girl for the first time in 3 weeks but im feeling cautious as this has come out of the blue.
I dont want it to be all brushed under the mat only for her to play up again.
Do i carry on with the C1 form?
thanks in advance
Hi there,
Thats good news! Its right to be cautious but its a great opportunity to get things back on track. She has made the first move, and it may be because not having you there for the last few weeks has made her realize that she needs your support.
As far as the PR is concerned, I would sugeest that you bring it up at the meeting. You could suggest that as a goodwill gesture on her part she agrees to you both having PR. If she agrees it would be a lot easier than going to court for an order. You would both have to go to the court and sign a Parental Responsibility Agreement, and a court official would witness it....thats all there is to it, and I dont think theres a charge for it either, although I'm not completely sure about that. If she still refuses, you could just go ahead with it anyway, but it would be a good indicator of how genuine she is about putting things right.
Good luck with it all and let us know how you get on! 🙂
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