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hi there my name james i have found my self in a situashion. the baby was born on 24/10/12 me and the mother split up in march 2012
she is adament i'm not going on the birth certificate and also since baby was born she let me see the child 3 times . she was spose to be letting me see the child one a week for an 1 hour and she saying that to much for her. now she shortened it to once every other week
we split up on a mutual agreement there was no arguments involved nor no violence. we split up for the simple face that she as a 5 year old son. and it always been him and his mother. and he must of felt in someway i was takeing his mother away frok him and he was starting to be naurty and starting to reject me .i never smacked the child i used to try and put him in his place . but then we had to call it a day as we diddent think this was fair on him
the 5 year old has got aspergis
any help would be great as i want access to my son
Hi James and welcome 🙂
Congratulations on your new baby boy....just two weeks old!
Try not to worry too much, women that have just been through the trauma of birth, often become difficult, just give her more time and things might settle down and she might become more reasonable. If she has a five year old to cope with too, with the added burden of Aspergers, she will be feeling the changes and getting used to having a new baby with all that that involves...night feeds, nappies etc....its not easy!
If you find that things havent settled down you could try Mediation. This is where you would both attend a meeting at one of their centres, and with the guidance of a trained mediator, talk through all the issues such as Parental Responsibility (PR) and contact and hopefully reach agreement. She may well agree to consent to you having PR after this, and with her agreement it would just be a matter of signing an agreement at the family court that is witnessed by a court official. Here is a link ~ www.nfm.or.uk
If this fails then you can apply for PR through the courts. There is a fee for this of £200 and you would need form C1.
If you are unemployed or on a low income you may be entitled to Legal Aid.
Good luck with everything 🙂
hi many thanks for your reply .seem like a good idea in what your saying does make sence hadent realey looked at it in that way. I will try the opions . I have a full time job
i'm not one of these people who you see on jeramy kyle show lol and i never said you implyed that .it my sence of huma
a lot of it doesent make sence there a lot of dads what don't give a monkeys out there .i could name a few. And there the people in this website what adores there children . There motheres out there what think thay can do a better job than the father not in every case . But one thing what makes me sick and i speak for everyone in here . Is the csa there happy to take money out of your account every week but you still don't get to see the child . It cost x amount of money and your not garenteed to see the child and till it old enough . It must be like a prison sentance for someone who up for murder. Now somethink i carn't weight up she not going to take me for csa. Doesent make sence .i have spoke to csa my self and i could put a claim in my self if i want for her to accept it thay would take £41.00 of me a week which i don't mind paying
and one other thing there parents what don't give a toss about the children who don't deserve it
Hi James 🙂
Its good to have a sense of humour...your going to need it in the years to come....children are so funny :silly: , and occasionally infuriating! :woohoo:
I agree with you, it doesnt make sense , but there are a lot of Dads that just want to be Dads and a few that dont deserve to be.
The CSA are a law unto themselves, they're a government department and so I dont have a very high opinion of them to start with! They are legal gangsters! If I were you I would steer clear of the CSA and instead open a bank account for your little one, and start paying the money you would have paid to the mum into the account. That way if she changes her mind its there waiting for her, if she doesnt, its a nice nest egg for your childs future.
I think you'll be a great Dad! 🙂
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