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[Solved] New contact order, same unreasonable EX!

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Mojo
 Mojo
(@Mojo)
Illustrious Member Registered

I guess there’s small consolation in the fact that your stepson is getting older and in a couple of years he will become more independent from his mother and more able to work out this stuff for himself... kids are pretty savvy these days and I’m sure he will begin to assert himself more... at 16 he can choose to live with either parent and that’s only 4 yrs away.

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Posted : 27/05/2018 1:52 pm
Yoda
 Yoda
(@yoda)
Famed Member

Personally I would just apply for enforcement and be done with it. With any luck, you might get a District Judge as opposed to a magistrate.

If you return to court and ask permission to file evidence that the mother has refused any extra time requested and not allowed fathers day, that should tighten things up. Failing that, if you're able to present evidence and the mother still says it's not what the child wants, I think it would be easier to push for a wishes and feelings report to be undertaken.

I would try to nip this in the bud now via the courts rather than let it go on. Whilst your step son is 12 & knows his own mind, I would try to avoid showing him the court orders.

The longer this goes on, the more chance it has of upsetting the child to be honest & the more chance the court has of taking a view that it could become tit for tat. I really would just apply for enforcement sooner rather than later and explain to the court that it is impacting on the child and needs to stop.

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Posted : 28/05/2018 12:52 pm

BabyB
(@BabyB)
Eminent Member Registered

Just need to vent!!

It seemed the threat of court worked, Wednesday this week husband had a message off the ex partner agreeing to Father’s Day (full weekend as per court order) we were quite confused as in 12 years she’s never been reasonable, but anyway we’ll take it, she’s finally grown up!

Obviously too good to be true, yesterday afternoon 2 hours before pick up another message off the ex ‘step son won’t be attending contact this weekend as he’s unwell, she’ll let husband know if he’s well enough for an hour on sunday’

Either I’m overly suspicious and this was the plan all along or massive coincidence that he happened to be unwell this weekend.

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Topic starter Posted : 16/06/2018 2:54 pm
Jss
 Jss
(@Jss)
Eminent Member Registered

Wow, sounds like our Husbands have the same ex's!

I would be very cynical, especially as her behaviour seemed to change very drastically at the mention of court. Has she said what's wrong with your step son? If he "may" be well enough for an hours contact on Sunday, I should imagine his current condition can't be too serious - in which case surely he isn't so unwell that your Husband can't look after him in your own home this weekend?

I feel your pain 🙁

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Posted : 16/06/2018 8:37 pm
BabyB and BabyB reacted

top tips to support your child after breakup

actd
 actd
(@actd)
Illustrious Member

I think "suspicious" is putting it mildly. I think Yoda's advice to go for the enforcement is the best way forward, otherwise she'll think she can just keep getting away with it. If you let her know tonight (if you read this in time), your son might make a miraculous recovery for tomorrow.

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Posted : 16/06/2018 10:50 pm
BabyB and BabyB reacted
BabyB
(@BabyB)
Eminent Member Registered

Thanks all!

No she didn’t state what was wrong but we’ve had such a battle to get to this point we didn’t ask, We are tired of the constant debates. Husband messaged son to wish him a speedy recovery but didn’t get into anything with ex partner, i don’t think it would have changed anything either way. It’s so frustrating.

I agree, an enforcement is the best plan of action going forward, our only problem is finances aren’t great at the minute so will have to hold out until we are in a better position, my husband always self reps so that helps but even the cost of the application will have a huge impact financially, worth it I know but we just don’t have it right now, especially as we’ve already paid application fees once this year 🙁
(Sorry I don’t want to make this about money cause it doesn’t matter, but there is nothing we can do to move forward without it!)

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Topic starter Posted : 17/06/2018 12:03 pm

how contact centres work

Mojo
 Mojo
(@Mojo)
Illustrious Member Registered

It might be a good idea to contact his sons GP to find out if she sought medical advice, if not it backs up that this was just another groundless excuseto avoid contact. Contacting the school to see if he attended on Friday would also be a good idea.

Its such a pity that you can’t get this to court straight away. Have you tried to write to the judge that made the final order? They do have discretion to return a case to court within 12months. Perhaps if you mention that you don’t have the funds to make an enforcement application and are respectfully requesting that the case be restored for new directions.

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Posted : 17/06/2018 2:25 pm
Yoda
 Yoda
(@yoda)
Famed Member

I would follow mojo's advice and check school attendance and with GP.

If you're on low incomes, you might be able to get help with the court fees. Look at form ex160a

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Posted : 18/06/2018 7:41 pm

Yoda
 Yoda
(@yoda)
Famed Member

I would follow mojo's advice and check school attendance and with GP.

If you're on low incomes, you might be able to get help with the court fees. Look at form ex160a

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Posted : 18/06/2018 7:41 pm
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