[Solved] No contact for 3 weeks

Hi tomb,

Welcome to DAD.info. Wow three weeks without seeing your daughter, that must be tough. How are you doing ?

From what you have told us, it does sound like the issue could be that you have a new partner. How long is it since you and your ex split?

Do you have Parental Responsibility ? Are you named on your daughters Birth Cert ?

There are options available to you, but before considering anything to do with courts and maybe solicitors it may be worth considering Mediation. From the sounds of it, your ex needs someone to care for your daughter at weekends and it would be in her interest and your daughters for that person to be you. Mediation would allow you and your ex to sit down with a trained mediator and discuss your issues with the aim of coming to an amicable solution. This would obviously be the best option for all three of you. Here is the National Family Mediation website link. if you would like to investigate this option.

Gooner

Thank you very much for your quick reply. I keep getting given excuses as to why I cant see her and why she isn't available at the weekend. For the first week it was fine because obviously I know plans are made and sometimes you forget stuff but coming up for the 3rd week now it is getting really tough. As I say my main concern is that she is being told that I don't want to see her or even worst that I don't love her.

As far as I am aware I do have parental responsibility, me and my ex were never married however I looked into it and I am named as the father on the birth certificate and my daughter was born in 2007. Is this correct?

I will definitely look into the mediation website now and thank you very much for your help.

tomb,

Excellent - I'm glad your going to check out mediation - I will also ask the Coram Children's Legal Centre to pop by an explain your legal options for you.

Gooner

Thank you again. Hopefully I can at least get something sorted by her birthday in a months time.

Hi Tomb and welcome 🙂

...Just thought I'd mention that as you are unemployed you will be eligible for Legal Aid which will cover the cost of Mediation.

It sounds to me that jealousy has a large part to play here, and hopefully the problems this creates wont last forever. I think mediation can be really helpful in resolving this type of problem. It will give you a chance to reassure mum and allay any concerns she has concerning your new partner. The two most important people in your little girls life are mum and dad, and nothing can change that. If you have only just started seeing your new partner perhaps you could ask that they take a step back, just whilst you get things sorted out...its not ideal but it might be for the best in the short term.

Try not to worry too much about what might be being said to your daughter. Children are very resilient and I'm quite sure she knows her Daddy loves her.

Are you able to talk to your ex's sister, it might help to open up a line of communication between you and your ex.

Good luck with everything and do let us know how you get on 🙂

Thank you for the information and reassurance. I unfortunately have no contact with her sister and do not even know where in the city she lives. As far as I know my mum still has access to see her but my ex has said if she sees me during that time then she will refuse my mum access which my mum is not willing to do. I do not feel mediation will work as I have tried to suggest this before but to no response but I am looking into it. She has supposedly already filed papers to take me to court but have not had anything through the post or otherwise so I don't know where to go from here.

Hi Tomb

You’re right as you are named on your daughter’s birth certificate you will have Parental Responsibility for your daughter. As such you will have equal legal rights regarding your daughter, in practice this means you have a right to an equal say in all important decisions that affect your daughter’s life for example where she goes to school and any medical decisions. However having Parental Responsibility does not give you any automatic right to contact.

From the information you’ve posted so far it would appear there is not a Contact Order in place at the moment. As such there is no legal obligation on the mother to allow contact between you and your daughter and she can legally restrict contact, however she does have a legal duty to be reasonable as to contact and if in any future court hearings the court decides she has not been this will reflect badly on her.

We would first advise you try to come to an agreement amicably with the mother. If this does not work, as has already been mentioned on this thread, we would advise you to try and go through mediation to help you come to an arrangement without the need for court action. For more information on mediation services you can contact the National Family Mediation on 0300 636 4000, or through their website www.nfm.net.com. The court will want to know you have attempted mediation before making any court applications.

If the mother is not willing to go through mediation or you cannot come to an agreement you can apply to the courts for a Contact Order. To do this you would have to fill in and file form C100 with the courts. The form can be obtained from the local County Court or Family Proceedings Court, or online at www.justice.gov.uk. The form must be lodged at the Family Proceedings Court. Guidance on filling in the C100 can be found on the same website in the leaflets CB1 and CB3. There is a fee of £200 for applying for this application, but if you are eligible for legal aid you may not have to pay this as there is a fee exemption form EX160A. You can check your eligibility for legal aid with Community Legal Advice, their number is 08453454345.

Contact is seen as the right of child and can only be refused for a very good reason where to do so would protect the interests of the child, for example where there is an issue of safety or violence contact could be refused. It will not be refused based on a personal dispute between you and the mother. Whilst deciding whether to grant a Contact Order the court will consider the welfare checklist:

• Wishes and feelings of the child (weight given to these feelings depends on the age of the child, more weight being given to a child over the age of 11).
• Childs physical, emotional and educational needs.
• Effect of any change on the child.
• The age, [censored] and background of the child.
• Any harm which the child has suffered or may suffer.
• How capable each parent is of meeting the Childs needs.

If you require any further advice please do not hesitate to contact us. Our advice line phone service on 0808 802008 is available Mon-Fri between 8:00-20:00, and our online web chat service at www.childrenslegalcentre.com is available Mon-Fri between 09:00-18:00.

Regards

CORAM Children’s Legal Centre