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My wife has commited adultery and we are in the early stages of seporation. I have tried my best to keep it amicable for the children but it just isn't working.
Every now and then we both lose our tempers when trying to discuss how to close the marriage.
I would love to share responsibilty of the children but I fear the worst.
If she gains full parental responsibilty, what is the worst that can happen? I am willing to pay maintenance but I don't know how much she is due to given that I will have the kids 50% of the time (3 week nights and alternate weekends)
She is getting legal aid and in one loss of temper said she wants £800 per month, half of my UK property, half of the holidy apartment I own and basically half of everything. Is she due to this?
She has said tonight that she is leaving to live somewhere else but won't say where and she has just gone and left me with the children. I need to get out of this porperty as she brought him back to our bed. If I move I want somewhere big enough for me and the kids but I'm not sure I can afford it if I have to pay her that sort of money.
Please help cos she is driving me to insanity.
Hi Clueless,
Welcome to the site. I'm sorry to hear about your problem. Things must be very raw for you at the moment?
I can't really advise you on divorce law, so you need to seek legal advice on that asap. However we should be able to help you with the issue of contact and residence. Do you mind answering a couple of questions? How many children have you got and how old are they? Does your name appear on their birth certificates?
FM '70
You already have parental responsibility. At this moment in time it appears that your wife has left the family home and left you with the children? Are the children registered as living there with nurseries, school, doctors etc? If you receive child benefit who is that paid to?
You need to speak to a solicitor asap about the property and the divorce. The shared residence arrangemengt that you've mentioned suggests that you'll have the children more than your wife over a 14 day period. At present it appears to me that you are the resident parent and your wife is the non-resident parent. I feel uncomfortable saying this, but I would suggest that you keep it this way until you have sought legal advice.
You're currently in quite a strong position with regards to the children and residency. Most dad's that use the site are trying to establish contact with their children, because the resident parent (usually the mother) can control the level of contact that the non resident parent has. If the resident parent is being obstructive then the non-resident parent usually has to look to the courts to get a court order to see their child(ren).
I would suggest that you keep the kids with you in the interim. They need some stability and I would avoid a knee [censored] decision to rent a second place until you have spoken to a solictitor. Also this is the only home the kids have known. I understand that it's hard to be around the evidence of your wife's betrayal, but could you perhaps move out of the bedroom you shared with her? Or get rid of the bed?
Hopefully one of the other dad's may have some additional, or alternate, advice for you.
FM '70
Don't think I can add much to what FM has said above - I'd definitely get a new bed rather than moving house.
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