[Solved] Non Molestation order

Any evidence you can gather, such as the holiday, is going to help your case, but from the cases I've heard on here, it's not going to be easy I'm afraid - hopefully someone with direct experience can help here.

I have been through it first hand and can sympathise with the lies that your ex can come up with. I could drive a fleet of buses through my exs lies. I was able to prove everything she said did not match with the actual truth, you will be sent a Scott Schedule before the actual court case and this will be your chance to counter all her allegations. If you can show the allegations don't mirror your findings including any texts and e-mails you may have.
If you can counter the Scott Schedule successfully she will be advised to accept an undertaking before going to court or more than likely the day of the case. If this does happen ensure it's a cross undertaking for both parties. Ultimately she has the power to take it all the way if she is adamant that her side is the truth.
Family law is based on a balance of truths and who the judge believes unlike a criminal court where fact and evidence is used. Ensure from now on you are squeaky clean and document all correspondence between yourselves so it can be used if needed later on.
Good Luck

Any new how you got on as im in similar cicrstance

I fear I am being T up for this too - ive taped conversations and kept a strict record of notes, if you have enough facts reported and can show you are keeping records carefully and systematically then there will be enough to show you are on the case and there must be some truth in what you are doing on the balance of your word against hers which is in my view what it often boils down to

Its rubbish particularly as ive spent 50k to date on fighting restricted access but got some ordered access now and did get a judge saying she was neorotic despite not going further - its a start so keep your records upto date impartial and record conversations to back up your statements (what an ugly system this is we are resorted to such lengths to be good parents)

in my view there is a pattern to many of these things like

restrict access (unfounded grounds)

cost lots of money getting to court and experts involved (to bleed you dry and cause maximum pain financially)

CSA application

Say you are worried about bullying and intimidation

call the police but often never any evidence or arrest (because its made up!) yet no consequence for the claimant

use delaying tactics and diversions to cause issues in the interim

use the court system to waste time and expense before you "go through the hoops" and get access at a snails pace bounced from judge to judge with no prior consistent knowledege of the case and costs at each hearing because of representation required

(make a costs order and unfounded issues proved to be the case - yet no costs are typically (or ever that Ive heard) awared in the family court system therefore promoting this to happen because there are no consequences)

withold access (even if ordered) and no penatly imposed by the courts yet options open to do so of custodial sentences

next step molestation order application

and so it goes on.....................

If you truely get someone saying she is neurotic at a hearing or a favourable hearing make sure you have the hearing transcribed. There are transcription companies - just google them and they type up the hearing and it can potentially be used in future hearings.

BW

The thing I found with the Non-Mol was to fight it if you’re squeaky clean….i did but took the undertaking as the ex’s solicitor was pushing for it cos they weren’t going to get the court to agree with their application for the Non-Mol as I’d proven it not required.

However I needed a bit of evidence that I hadn’t had at the time so was only my word against hers regarding a specific event.
On the event in question in her Non-Mol application she’d claimed that she’d called the police on me as I’d been to the house and was being threatening and abusive etc… to her and this she claimed was all in front of a Police officer who was there at the time.
The actual event was that I needed to get some of stuff I’d in storage at the house in the garage and had phoned the police the night before to ask them to attend with me and help to prevent a potential breach of the peace.
The police had attended on my request not hers, police notes that came through a week after the Non-Mol hearing fully supported my defence that I’d called them and been calm throughout and it had been her who had in fact been rather threatening in her manner.

Had I that before the hearing I would have fought the need for me to take the Undertaking…..however at the time I didn’t think much of it as I’d no intentions of ever going to the house without someone to act as witness.

The problem came when my ex started claiming I was harassing her by text message….actually all I was doing was not agreeing with her about things and telling her what she didn’t want to hear….hindsight is I should’ve not replied trying to put my side of things/point of view across.
The police spoke to me and although I could prove the texts were not harassing she was able to still get them to warn me not to contact her that way…..as we have a child together I’d said we needed a line of communication and it was agreed while the police were there that it would be via email from then on.
That was again until she started with sending me [censored] about things again……..i replied and she tried to get harassment warning on me again…..again I proved no harassment content etc… and again the police gave her a talking to.
However she has tried many times to say in court during these proceedings that I’ve harassed her and the police have warned me about it…..the police reports all support me and two notes in two of the claims actually say that “any reasonable person would not deem them harassing in nature” and that she was also warned about contacting me as if I’d have contacted the police in the first time she would be the one given an harassment warning!

So fight the Non-mol…..and if you have to take an undertaking make sure you get the court to note that you do so as you have not been threatening / abusive / violent etc… in the past and have no reason to be near her or whatever it is the court tell you….but again….if you can and don’t see a need for it then why accept it?

... and as d-I-d's tale above reinforces, don't reply to mails/texts except in a businesslike manner to answer a question, and keep all of the conversations.

Hi Boycie

Can I just say here that the transcription has to be dealt with via the Court, they send you a list of recommended transcription companies, I have had to use them a couple of times. You pay for it to the Company if I recall correctly, but the Court sends the tape to the company direct, its a bit like chain of evidence in the police! 😆

Hi Dad-I-d

you have just given a classic as to why I recently told a forum member " if the ex contacts you, do not reply! It is still a breach!" So I also have to disagree with actd if there is a non-mol/undertaking in place even if it is interim, if the ex contacts you do not reply it is a breach of the Order!

I also have to say that you were very lucky with the police in your case, on the whole they just plain go against the "Molester" for want of better word! 🙂 (No offence intended!!!)

BTW I hope you used that police evidence later! It was a shame that the Court would not allow an adjournment till you got that evidence.

...Speaking to a friend of mine with lots of experiences, he says the options for a non-mol are -

Contest it ....which entails grief, time and expense.

Accept an undertaking....which has its drawbacks and can be manipulated by the accuser if you as much as bump into them by accident.

Accept it without accepting the allegations...this is his favoured course of actions as it causes the least problems.

EnyaM,

The Police reports/notes came in very handy at the Finding of Fact hearing and crushed all her allegations in one swoop! the judge saw the police notes in respect to her attempt of claiming harrasment and noted that he police had said they were not harassing as any reasonable person would agree!
the judge saw the evidence and i could dis-prove every point her legal rep (barrister) tried to make out basedon her lies.

this i believe was the one thing i had in my favour through out this 3yrs of [censored].....the truth...the whole truth and nothing but the truth!!!!