[Solved] Non Molestation order

Probably worth having a word with the Citizens Advice Bureau as fast as possible - she could be going for a serious accusation which may get her legal aid.

Hi, Ive just been googling around and found out if they're being abused they might be entitled to legal aid. She's claiming emotional abuse which seems pretty tough for anyone to disprove as the rules as what counts as emotional abuse are pretty much all encompassing. I think she's doing this just to take advantage of the legal aid system. Hopefully, if It goes before a judge he will see through it. I think I can pretty much counter everything she has said.

If she has been granted an Emergency Non-Mol order then you will have your chance to fight it at a hearing date that should be set within the Non-Mol order.

At that hearing you will be able to have your say…..fight it if you are truly innocent! If you have been any of what she claims its best to be honest with the courts.

If you were to accept it I can tell you from my own experience if the police get called out to any future incident they will see you have been issued a Non-Mol and automatically you are guilty to them until you can prove otherwise!

any

My ex did this to me after she found out I knew that she’d kicked out the guy who had been renting our house off us when I moved out and she couldn’t afford to keep the place on! She actually had moved back in and moved in her new fella…..i found out…never said anything but arranged with the police to go to the house (with them as witnesses) so I could collect some of my stuff I had stored in the garage.
She claimed on her Non-Mol that I’d been to the house on that date and was being abusive and threatening towards her and she feared I would smash the house up and she’d called the police to attend as she was scared etc… etc…
All lies finally proven in court! And all backed up by the police who were there on my request, their notes on the incident clearly showed what actually happened and what was said and how etc…

The unfortunate thing for me was that the hearing for the Non-Mol was two weeks before the notes came through from the police ….. I ended up agreeing to take an Undertaking to the court that I wouldn’t do any of the things the ex had claimed and not to go to the house without notice and without police as witnesses. I took the undertaking as I hadn’t got the proof from the police at the time to show it wasn’t needed. I should have not agreed and asked for the hearing to be adjourned until the police notes came through.

The full Non-Mol order wasn’t granted to my ex but the Emergency one she took out is still on police notes and they will never look past that I can tell you! I’ve tried to get them to remove it from file and have supplied all the evidence to back me up from the court hearings to the county Police Commissioner but he just said as I have proved it in court then that’s as much as I need to do….but in the last 2 years the ex tried to claim harassment by unwanted phone calls and texts….the police investigated…I showed and proved to their satisfaction that I’d not been calling her or texting…I had replied to her messages only! All great for me to be able to prove I’ve not but still stressful having to prove I’ve not been what she tried to claim.

In the two years since then i’ve had all sorts of claims by the ex thrown at me….all able to prove as I never contact her unless in reply to her…and only ever in writing – email – texts – letters…..all so I can prove anything she tries to claim.

Its shocking when it gets that bad to keep a record of everything but if you don’t you leave yourself open to false claims you wouldn’t stand a chance of fighting! I’m glad I was given that piece of advice at the beginning of my now 3yr battle!

Hi, thanks for that, does anyone know, if she can prove emotional abuse( still cant believe shes done it) would that entitle her to legal aid for any future custody case? Or would it just be for the injunction? I went to a solicitor on Friday, they believe I've got a strong defence and they will work to a fixed fee. On Monday they are applying to the court for a hearing for me to put my side over.

Yes, is she can "prove" the emotional abuse then the non mol would stand and she would be entitled to LA for a future custody case within the next 18 months... I would agree with you that this could be her motive.

As far as entering your own home, with the non mol then you will have to be careful as you would leave yourself open to further allegations. It might be best to make an appointment to arrange a time to go there through her solicitor and take someone with you as a witness...or even better ask the police to accompany you because of the non mol.

Thanks NannyJane, thats what I was afraid of, my solicitor said the other day that "she's playing a blinder". I spoke to my little lad earlier today and he was begging me to go and get him 🙁 , I told him I would see him in a few days, he started crying and the phone was took of him, I dont think she wants me to see him in case he does not want to go back to her. The little one and I have always had a really good bond, better than him and his mother and i think she is afraid of this

It makes me so angry when children are used as weapons in this way. How can she hear his cries and see his pain and still keep him from you....she may be punishing you but she hurting your little boy most of all.

I would suggest Mediation but with the non mol hanging over you she has the right at the moment to refuse. Have you thought about applying for a Contact Order? At the moment she can pretty much do as she pleases as far as contact is concerned. I think as soon as the non mol issue is sorted out your next step should be a contact order, otherwise she can stop and start access whenever she likes.

There are many here that are self representing, it's very doable! You would get lots of advice and support from the members here if you decided to go down that route.

Thanks for your advice Nannyjane, I think I'll just have to wait until the non mol case is heard before I decide how to progress further. Apparently he will be seeing me on Monday, I have proposed to our middleman that we have him a week about during the summer hols, I've got my doubts that this will happen though! Because she will be getting legal aid if he came to me next week and then refused to go back, she would be able to go and get an emergency residence order which at the moment would put me in a worse position. As he is only 7 I dont think his views would be given much weight at the moment?

Hopefully the non mol issue will be sorted out quickly.

You're right, at 7 years old, although he may be talked to and asked about his feelings if it were to go to court, it wouldn't carry a great deal of weight unless there were safeguarding issues too.

Quick update, I've now been served a Prohibited Steps Order, it was done Ex Parte, I can not take him from her care, in it she's told more lies some of which is contrary to what she said in the Non Mol order. I've got a date to contest the non mol next week, I was going to attach a residency order to it anyway, hopefully the judge on the day will see through her lies. I'll keep you informed.

I have had the same thing and recently found (still rumor) that the law will soon be changing where unless the respondent is locked up for the DV (domestic violence) then it will be the right of the respondent to be in the court room to plead his side of the case to the judge before the non mol is issued

My wife has done the same to me and its my daughters 7th birthday tomorrow (27th) and i was told i could pick up both my girls at 2pm today have them tonight and drop them back off at there aunts house tomorrow morning. but at 13.30 today i got a email from her solicitor (the one gained by lying about her abuse and getting legal aid) saying that she has been advised by my wife that no contact will take place today

No reason or nothing and she is protected by the non mol so i cant even find out where she lives

We need more rights and support where can i get it

Mitch

These Ex- Parte hearings are just wrong, plain and simple, wrong, they aren't in the interests of justice! I'm really feeling it today, I am his main carer and I feel like ive had my heart ripped put today 🙁 🙁 🙁

ParryH…… if your ex has claimed one thing on the Non-mol and another on the Prohibitive Steps then you have inconsistency in her claims against you.
Use that as part of you defence that she claims one thing one minute and another thing the next….if all are lies from your stance (and be honest here)…then make sure you push this with the judges at the hearings.
If you’ve proof that your ex is lying make sure you take 3 copies with you or submit to court as evidence at least a week before the hearings if you’ve got a week that is. Make sure when you do send a copy to your ex as well.

I used the discrepancy in my ex’s statements to show her lies for what they were….although I also had plenty of evidence to dis-prove more or less all of her false claims/allegations.
The judge’s rulings read very bad against her for her deception…the courts do not take kindly to liars and contact deniers these days when its proved.

dad-i-d I can honestly say hand on heart that they are all lies, she's saying one thing in her statements and in txt mess off my phone going back to sept last year other things(my phone stores txts of people in their own threads, I found software that downloads them). In her non mol statement she claims she was happy with me taking him on holiday, in the pro step order she implies I practically kidnapped him! Hopefully the judge will see through these lies and many more. I'm in court on Friday, so fingers, toes and anything else are all crossed.
Its now 12 days since I've seen him, spoke to him 3 times , he's begged me to go and get him, not good! I was the stay at home Dad aswel, she went out to work. I dont know what she will be saying to him why I havent gone to see him.

Heya,

sounds like a terrible situation.

If you can perhaps worth recording the conversations - may need it in future.

Looks like you should be considering a C1 as well as C100 form. Id offer mediation soon and get the FHM1 form signed soon.

The steps and non-mol orders being inconsistent maybe useful.

The key thing is to demonstrate you are not a risk to your children and going abroad with your son is a good way to demonstrate this.

Dad-i-d seems to provide very good advice on this - good luck!

Thanks everyone, i'll let you know good or bad on Friday.

Seeing as you have saved and are able to download the messages from your ex – if not already done so - print and take 3 copies with you Friday and push the judge to look at them as they prove your ex is deceiving the courts.

Oh and if you’re asked to take an undertaking to the court fight it…..if you can prove to the judge you’ve not done as your ex why should you have to take an undertaking to the court.

I didn’t have the evidence I needed at the time my ex tried the non-mol….i had the texts etc… but she’d also claimed I’d been to the house on a specific date and that she’d had to call the police as I was being threatening and abusive….however this was just another lie…I had actually had the police attend with me so I could get some stuff I had in storage in the garage at the house…the police notes that I didn’t get until after the non-mol hearing totally backed me up and showed my ex to have lied and deceived the courts.
I was asked by the judge to take an undertaking to the court that I would not be going to the house without notifying the police and having them attend as witnesses.
I tried to defend it to say that I had no intentions of ever going there unless with the police as I had done on that and another occasion with the police…but not having the police notes to back me up I was pretty much forced to accept the undertaking or prolong the hearing and further delay seeing my child……..in hindsight I should’ve fought it and had the hearing adjourned until it could provide the police notes.

Good luck Friday and don’t let them fob you off.

Hi dad-i-d,

How did you get the police to attend?

I asked them to attend my exs address with me previously but they said it wasnt a good use of resource.

Did you tell them that you expected there to be trouble?

Regards,

Dave

I phoned them up and told them I needed to get some belongings from the house and that I feared what she may do if I turn up and I feared for my own safety and didn’t want a breach of the peace.

They won’t want to attend as they see it as just a “domestic” but given the allegations my ex has tried to claim in the past I needed them there for my own protection.

If they point blank refuse to attend try asking them what would they do if you attended and your ex phoned them telling them that you were being abusive and threatening……basically if you were the female asking them for help and what would they do then?

Thanks...I will be a little more forceful next time.

Regards,

Dave

Thanks, my solicitor has included all the txts in the bundle, she's claimed in the pro step order that i've been harassing her dad but I've downloaded all 12 of the txts I've sent to him as well, and they're all about speaking to, or seeing the little one! Hopefully the court will see how they've been mislead.

Hi, just got back, it was only listed for 20 mins we were in there for 90! Dont want to say to much for now as its still ongoing. I will just say that its not all one sided anymore! Also, I've got interim contact. 🙂 🙂 🙂

Great news made up for you!!!

Nice one.....the truth will always shine through eventually....fingers crossed it continues to go well for you and the kid/kids

Lovely news that you have got interim contact. Enjoy your time with your little one and hope that the rest of the court case goes well for you.

That's brilliant! 🙂

I've been to see my replacement solicitor this week,and left there feeling like there isn't any hope! Don't know why exactly but she was saying to me "I thik they'll impose this order on you because you've had a go at her once outside the house". I also asked her to put in an emergency contyact order as I had a court order for contact suspended and she said "you can'y put one of those in,we'll just ask for contact reinstated at court in a few weeks" Not going to see my little men for my birthday now and i'm gutted. Well done to you on your news though

Thanks every one 🙂 🙂 🙂 .aruk2008, its hard mate, it really is, I dont know what else to say to you, just keep your head down and keep fighting for whats right, i think the wheels of justice are slow, but they do turn.

The thing that is wrecking my head the most is we went to court 2 years ago,my CAFCASS officer was superb and I got loads of contact,all going great for 2 years my kids were made up staying in mine and now it feels like i'm back to square 1. What if they won't let me have my contact back and i've done nothing wrong

Hi Aruk, I am afraid it is a long road, but what you can do is stand up, be honest and most of all tell the Court how successful contact has been for your son and how much he enjoys his contact with you. 🙂

That's what you must concentrate on, what is in the best interests of your son. It's tough but try and stay strong, if you were well supported by CAFCASS last time the reports must have been good, they will have access to all of their records and the records of other agencies so they should come to the same conclusions. Concentrate on the effect this break in contact will have on your son and come at it from that angle.

I am going to pursue that angle regarding my son missing me,he's very much a daddy's boy and gets upset every sunday after I have to drop him at home. I am going to get my contact order re-instated and then ask the court for an increase to 5 nights overnight every other week plus a full week in the summer holidays

Well, I was back in court again this morning, overnight stays! prohibited steps order discharged! no Cafcass report needed, just safeguarding checks! We're back in court in September for the Childrens Act matters and the judge is expecting the Non Mol order to be sorted out on that day aswell. So, I'd say its a bit of a result today.

The only thing is, that the little one has had to be put through all this, watching his loving (so I thought) family be split up. 🙁

That's great news! Time to look forward and not back I think, it's been painful but things are now moving forward. Children are very resilient and he will get used to the new family dynamic, all you both need to do now is concentrate on being the best parents you can be and try to work together for your sons sake.