[Solved] Non Molestation Order

If you can prove any of your ex’s allegations are false then make 3 copies and take that proof with you to court. when its your turn to defend the allegations produce the proof to the court and the other party…..i would also produce the proof of your ex’s convictions etc… they will show that your ex was the violent one.

Also explain the relationship since your split…I mean…if you were any of which she says then why would she allow you the key to her house….sleeping over at xmas….shopping days with the kids…etc…etc… if you can prove any of this again make three copies to produce in court.

If you have done nothing wrong….then why should you not fight the Non-Mol Order! Take a quick read at the other post about the Non-Mol to show why I say fight it if you can prove you’re not what she tries to claim.
As I see it, its all about her keeping you away from her house now because of the fella she’s got around!....

I intend to,i've mad a Freedom of Info request to the police for any info regarding me at the school,i know there is no info because I've never done a thing at the school. Her solicitor must be mad letting her go ahead with these allegations as she knows what happened 2 years ago with us. I'm amazed a judge can just listen to 2 year old allegations and suddenly decide to take my kids from me. Will the contact order I had in place just continue after the hearing or will she be able to force a new hearing for less contact,the contact order was going great and my son was asking for more time with me it'll break his heart if he gets to see me less

Thanks

If you have a Contact Order from the court and she has stopped contact then she is in breach of the order and you have the right to take her back to court for an Enforcement Order.

Thanks for replying

The court have suspended the contact order due to the lies she has told in court,I can't understand how the court can let her bring up stuff from 2 years ago that never happened!!

Then as the allegations are false you must fight this, preparation is key as well as gathering as much evidence as you can to back up your counter claim.

Were the Social Services involved at the initial court hearings when you were awarded contact? If so it might be an idea to contact them again and voice your concerns about the boyfriend and his history of violence in front of the children.

I have asked for evidence from the police and school and they are both providing this. I spoke to social services last week and tol dhtem that he was violent,and the woman on the phone could not have been less interested.Just said to me "What do you want me to do,I can't tell her who to date"! Told my solicitor there is evidence on Facebook of the abuse and she is going to look into what can be done to secure that evidence

My little boy has chickenpox at the moment a well and it's killing me I can't see him 🙁

May be worth applying for an emergency interim contact order on the basis of this. Supply your evidence. Have you got a date for court. If you havent then you will probably need to apply. If you have then it may be worth holding fire cause it might be better to counter and dismiss all these allegations.

BW

social Services can be so dismissive....it's their job to ensure that children are safe and free from risk. I would call them again and ask to speak to the manager/senior social worker, repeat your concerns and ask them to document them and put them on file.

I have a date for return to court which is 22nd of August,but in my opinion that's too far away. I'm going to speak to a few of my old neighbours tomorrow as they think i'm a good father and have told me so,plus my ex has told them about the DV by her new partner the last time they were together. My solicitor is going to push for an earlier court date but not holding out much hope,although my Ex seemed to get a court date pretty quick for her Non-Mol Order. I intend to tell my solicitor to tell her solicitor that I will be providing evidence from her family and friends about this man's violence in the past. I'm not sure my Ex has thought this out very well,she has more to lose than I do in my opinion becaus eif this carries on and I supply evidence of her violent past and his violent past then I stand a chance of more contact time. I will be contacting o2 to get a lost of all past text messages to prove we spent a lot of time as good friends and that I stayed in the house minding the children

I'm getting a lot of messages of support off the mums at my sons school via Facebook as well,it's nice to know people care - Thanks to everyone on this site as well

Also,if I attend court on the day and the Non-Mol is dismissed will my contact be re-started the same day? I can see no reason why it shouldn't but i'm not sure - My contact is as follows Thu 4.30 till Sun 4pm overnight contact with my eldest,Fri 4.30 till Sun 4 pm overnight with my 3 yo. Then Tuesday 12-6 with 3 yo and 3-6 from school with eldest (7). Then 12-6 Thursday with youngest and 3-6 after school with eldest. Then 1-6 Sunday with both and Tuesday 1-6 with eldest and 3-6 with eldest. My contact order is fantastic to be honest we see loads of each other and I did that mostly myself so have hope dads it can be done. Plus I get every other Xmas and New Year with them and birthdays as well

Once this is over I will be looking to increase overnight contact to at least 4,maybe 5 nights with both and take away the Tuesday daytime contact 12-6 so the ex can have her time with them. The Judge at the initial hearing did say to her that they weren't her kids but BOTH of our kids and that if she messed me around he would take them away immediately and I could make her wait for contact,so lets see if he keeps his word if she carries on with the lies

If you feel August is too far away apply for an emergency contact order.

If you have proof of the incidents your ex and her partner because this is potentially a risk in front of the kids.

You cant be sure whether she was coerced into applying for it so in the best interests of the kids you would like to address matters quickly.

BW

...I wouldn't advise showing your hand to her solicitor by telling them that you have evidence from her family and friends about the violence.

Have you thought about the situation if/when this all backfires on her and the judge follows through with his threat t take them away from her? Are you're prepared for full residency if this happens?

Yes I am prepared for full residency,I work Nights and the youngest is in Nursery but I also have a great family support network to help out. I think she has been made to do this by her partner,but sadly don't think she has thought about it well enouhgh

Its good that you've got plenty of support....you've used the word sadly, your right it is sad that your situation has come to this as there are no winners... Going to court is an emotional roller coaster and puts so much strain on everyone involved.

In my own sons case, putting forward issues that happened 6 months previously was dismissed by the judge as historic and no longer relevant...it just shows how much a case is governed by the foibles of the judge that is sitting. There really is no second guessing what might happen...it's in the lap of the gods... Or should I say judge! They are one and the same in the courtroom!

I'm putting my faith in the judge again,the 3 who were there last time were superb. He told my ex to stop crying as it wasn't impressing anyone! She had even tried to punch her own barrister in the waiting room,went totally off her head. Her barrister said to me "I see what you've been going through now,she's certainly not stable" I can't see how it will go wrong,i've had a contact order in place for over 2 years which everyone is happy with so I should assume it will just be restored to the status quo

Best of luck then!

Haha,you don't sound too confident for me there NJ - I've got to be positive otherwise i'll crack up

I didn't mean to sound negative! I do wish you the best of luck and fingers crossed you get the same judge! It's essential to think positive and I am 100 % behind you!

...and from what you say I think you stand an excellent chance of getting contact reinstated and the accusations against you quashed!

You're too kind,I was told that Liverpool family Court is very keen to give out shared care for children. Everything that has happened up to now has followed that because the judge told her last time to give me significant contact or he would order 50-50. Surely all the records from last time will still be valid to be used in court

Yes the previous case will be on file. It's true that courts are being encouraged to look at Shared Care orders as the favoured option....the reasoning is to make both parents more equal and the hope is that they can work together in the best interests of the children. I personally think that shared care is good but I would still want to have some defined contact written into the order, because one parent can abuse it if there is no contact written in.

My own experience of judges has been 50/50. In my sons first case the judge was brilliant, he was very thorough and wouldn't take any carry on from the mother....and she tried! My son was awarded residency of his boy due to drugs and neglect. That was in 2011, fast forward to 2013 and a second case to vary the mothers contact, again issues of drugs and neglect and this time a new boyfriend newly released from prison for domestic violence and arson! This time the woman judge ignored CAFCASS reports about serious safeguarding issues and more or less sided with the mother....we're back in court in August for the second hearing and feeling a little demoralised...sorry if it shows. This is in Chester county Court, not too far away from you.

Well the very best of luck to you,I hope it goes great for your son and yourself. Also can I ask,if we both have to give undertakings to the court can I make one of her undertakings to not stop contact? Or does there need to be a Penal Notice attached to it instead?

Thanks! Warning notices are automatically attached to contact orders....you could ask for that to be an undertaking of hers but if she decides to flout it there's not a lot you can do but go back to court for enforcement.

She knows i'll never stop fighting for the kids,not a chance and i'll take her back to court time and time again if that's what it takes,and each time she breaks the order i'll be asking for it to be enforced. I spoke to the police and told them i'd be ringing them if she ever refused the court order and they said "we don't normally attend". I will make sure they do believe me,civil case or not

Hi Aruk

Looking at matters, I see the Court as looking at these matters as being historic. (I know NJ has had an unfortunate experience). Do go back to social services in view of previous history and partners DV history, there are safeguarding risks to the children. The Court will be unhappy about the partners DV. Don't forget, she is only telling the Court half the story, you need to tell the other half.

As far as contact is concerned, I know that your contact has been suspended while these proceedings are going on, but once they are back on footing, if she does prevent contact, you must apply to Court to enforce it.

However when next at Court, it would be an idea to request interim contact, (even if it must take place at a Contact Centre, but ask for that as a last resort).

I feel pretty confident that once the judge is armed with all the facts the non mol won't stand....if they can tell my son that events 6 months previously are considered historic, then 2 years ago makes them prehistoric! If the non mol is quashed there's absolutely no reason for contact not to resume post haste!

It doesn't surprise me that the SS response was so poor...as I said previously, if you request that they file your concerns and log your calls then that information will be available at a later date, if SS are asked to do a court report.

Hopefully interim contact at a centre will be unnecessary .

I can't see a contact centre being an option,even in her statement to the court she wanted contact to continue but the court must have erred on the side of caution and suspended the order. Am i right in thinking she will be on Legal Aid for this matter,but she won't be if we return to court later on for contact variation/extension? She also won't get legal aid for the action I am bringing over the house will she? I'm trying to get an order attached to it for money from it,I paid the mortgage for 10 years but was never named on it but solicitor says as long as i can prove i was there paying bills I have a strong case

The Court will err on the side of caution, and will consider the children's best interest. Don't forget its whatever she told the Judge.

Hopefully the Court will dismiss her application. I noticed with GREAT interest that she wants contact to continue!!! lol!!
I only referred to interim contact and contact centre as an extra should the Courts want to pursue anything.

She will have legal aid for the non mol. Have you already issued proceedings for the property? If so, bet that is why she has taken this route, to get legal aid for finances.

If you have evidence of paying the mortgage i.e. paper trail, you do have a good chance of a pretty successful case.

As long as the non mol is overturned then she won't be entitled to LA for any future custody cases or for the action over property.

yes NJ! :whistle:

I'm going to go for a full dismissal of the Non-Mol on the evidence i've already stated,work are not too pleased that i've got this order hanging over me even though i've told them it's all lies. It could affect my future employment as I have to have the advanced CRB to work in the prison. I haven't told her about the action over the house yet i'm leaving that till I get my boys back. That's what I said to my solicitor she is in fear of me but she staed on the form I could still go to the school to pick the boys up!

She really hasn't thought things through has she! There seems to be so many inconsistencies in her story.

She definitely hasn't thought things through, and at the very end of it, if it does affect your job, it will affect her money!

Thats what I think, surely her solicitor should have ascertained the full facts before allowing her down this path. Can not see her solicitor being happy when she recieves my solicitors letter stating I've slept in the house,had days out together,lent her money,looked after her when she was unwell and also having a key to the house! I can't see what she was tying to achieve with this,she still wanted me to have the boys so what was her objective?

my CSA comes straight from my pay at £280 a month,she texted me the other week saying if i didn't give her more money she wouldn't be giving me any stuff for when the boys come to stay at mine! Informed her that was what the money was for,providing clothes and other items. It used to be 330 a month but went down because of my overnight time,now she wants that £50 back!! You couldn't write a story like this for the TV

AND THERE IT IS!!! ……….MONEY!!! ……….SHE WANTS MORE MONEY from you!!!
The only way for her to get more money is to restrict your overnight contact with the kids! The sad fact of things is that’s pretty much how most end up where contact is being restricted….Money!
Not one part about it is whats in the best interests for the kids…its always about how much money they will lose out on by you having them more!
It stinks! Its about time the CSA and courts took action against these mothers that restrict contact soon after getting reduced maintenance…seems it happens way too often the stories of overnight contact being stopped soon after their money gets reduced.

I can't agree more Dad-I-d!

Went to see my solicitor today to pay the £500 to get my case started,and she was off sick!!!!! Totally deflated so got to ring up tomorrow now to speak to the solicitor who's taking over while she's off. #i know it's only been 2 weeks since i've seen the boys but it feels like forever after having daily contact with them. I'm sat on my own in work in bits now crying like an idiot,feels like this pain is never gonna end. All I want to be is a good dad to my boys :boohoo: :boohoo:

You're not an idiot, you are a decent man and a good dad who has been pushed to your limits and is emotionally drained because of the selfish and abusive actions of a woman who is being enabled to behave in this way by a government that has no interest in making the changes that are needed to give fathers and their children their basic rights...

One day your boys will know how hard you fought for them and they will love and respect you all the more for it....you will make them proud to have such a strong and loving Dad that never gave up on them.

Thank you NJ,been feeling upbeat the last few days as well thinking it would all be sorted soon but tonight feel really low. Hopefully my replacement solicitor will be able to give me some good news tomorrow

if it makes you feel better....I have never cried so much than in the last few months. 🙂

I bet we are not the only ones either..:)

P.S. Dont tell anyone I admited to it...:)

I have even spoken with the Samaritans....not because I felt like commiting harakiri....I just needed to talk. :/

Wishing you strength mate.....

Dave

Thanks Dave,the first time round 2 years ago I ended up losing 3 stone with the stress,and I'm determined this evil woman will not push me to the brink of a breakdown again. But I suppose the crying helps a bit,it's a release I suppose. All I can hope is that Karma finds it's way into her life VERY soon

I hope that the replacement solicitor gives you some good news and picks your spirits up again.

Money should be taken out of the equation. I know some dads just don't want to be involved with their children and they should be made to pay. Dads who want to be involved in their children's lives but the mother's won't allow it, should pay less. Would make a lot more women consider the children having contact then.

Good luck with everything.

Thanks Cuddles,spoke to replacement solicitor today and she is going to ring me back tomorrow after taking a proper look at my file. I'm hoping she can get an emergency contact order in as soon as possible. I am a bit down but still thinking that this Non-Mol will be overturned. The weight of evidence I have should be enough to overturn it,my step-daughter (15) messaged me on Facebook tonight to tell me she loved me which was nice. Just hope she doesn't try to say i've breached the Non-Mol by talking to her! This will all work out in the end hopefully,she's being controlled by her partner. Going to ask some family and friends of hers for permission for solicitor to contact them for statements about his violent behaviour

Aruk

I am sorry to say that really you should not have replied to your step-daughter's message :boohoo: (A) It would be against the terms of the Non Mol, which states no contact with the ex, nor by your servants, agents etc. Her stepdaughter could be considered as any i..e your ex, servant,agent. (B) you don't even know if it was your stepdaughter who wrote it.

Sorry to be a pain in that respect, but knowing that women will do and say what they can i.e. come over, I need help or ring etc, or cross the road to speak to you,it is all a breach of the Order EVEN if they contact you.

That's so unfair....it's entrapment! I hope it doesn't affect things arum.

Exactly NJ ...men have told me "but she called me" or "she approached me in the street". It is entrapment and that is got away with unfortunately. 🙁 That's why I put it in strong terms as nicely as I could to Aruk... 🙂

The more I learn about the injustices towards fathers, the more determined I become!