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Hi folks.
I have a very quick question that I am hoping I can get some sort of answer to.
I understand that a court order is not really possible without going through mediation first. The problem is this, I earn too much to be considered for legal aid, yet I cannot afford to pay for mediation or even a solicitor as my outoings are huge due to debts amassed prior to the relationship break down.
Therefore, how the [censored] do I get my ex to let me see my amazing boy more often? She takes him away for weekends and I miss out on seeing him, I do not get opportunity for more time with him, I do all of the travel even though she has chosen to move further away from the area where we initially raised our son.
I am at a loss as to what to do. I live for Sundays alone, when I get my few precious hours with my son, but at nearly 18 months old, I see no reason that I cannot have him overnight - or at least for longer hours.
Someone please help.
The CCCS may be able to help with advice on the debt, but one question is are you paying maintenance, and if so how has this been calculated?
The reason I ask is that the CSA calculation for you would be 15% of your takehome income. However, you are able to deduct allowable expenses, including travel costs for your to have contact (I think you are expected to pay the first £15 per week before the travel can be deducted), but you can also apply for a variation (downwards) of maintenance if you are paying debts accrued before the divorce where the debts were accrued for the benefit of the family - may be worth exploring in your case.
I do pay maintenance at 15% as the debts accrued were independant from the relationship I had with my sons mother.
As for the fuel compensation, I looked into this and the adjustment would only be pence per week, which I did not bother with as I thought it would be petty.
Pretty much I am running out of options now. The only way she will let me see more of him is if I take time off work, and then I still have to travel 150 miles each time I see him.
Someone please help I really don;t know what to do 🙁 (
I agree that it's not worth a variation if it's for a small amount.
It may be worth having a word with Families Need Fathers - http://www.fnf.org.uk and also with the Children's Legal Centre. You could apply for a contact order and represent yourself - the cost of application is, I believe, £175 - however, the courts would normally have expected you to try mediation first so, ideally, you need to find a way to afford to do this - I don't know what the costs of mediation are, but it may be worth also contacting the service to explain your situation to them - I'm sure they will have come across this many times before.
If you do get to the stage of court hearings, then you may be able to get the order to include some contribution towards travelling costs, or for your ex to sometimes travel down to you - bottom line is that the courts will want to encourage contact so they will consider your situation.
The costs of Mediation is calculated on your income. as such, Mediation for me would have cost more than the court order!
You can get in touch with the Mediation trust or call a solicitor that provides this service. google should suffice.
Didn't realise that Rik - complete madness considering that it's designed to avoid many court cases, yet, from googling it, it would seem that it's almost always going to be cheaper to go to court and represent yourself 😮
Exactly!
I went to a solicitor who specializes in Mediation and family law, they sent me a cost calculator in the post. Basically said anything from 0-£15,000 a year was minimal as [censored], but if you're between £15,000 and £22,000 it's X amount and if you earn over £22,000 P.A. then it's something daft like £180 a session, not to mention that they recommend about 6 sessions.
I rang them and basically said that i couldn't afford to pay nearly £200 per session six times over.
If you can get legal aid it's all good! I have considered quitting my job just for this purpose.
If I still have the form, i'll scan it, upload it to my webspace and post it. It might help some of you.
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