[Solved] Not seen my 3 month old daughter

Hi mark & welcome

You sound like you are trying to be a good dad, and putting money into savings is excellent since there is no obligation at all for you to do this.

The first thing you need to do, if you haven't, is to read yoji's guide to representing yourself in the legal section if you haven't already done so. You also need to make sure you don't react to anything that's said to to, and keep a diary and an exact note of all texts and communications - it's hard not to react sometimes, but if you get a nasty text, just imagine how it will look to a judge if you received one, but kept your calm and either responded in a calm manner, or didn't rise to it an didn't respond - it will make it much easier.

Thank you I have learnt to ignore them its just so hard knowing that iv got a amazing little girl out there and I can't even see her. Iv actually got a solicitor as I do long hours at work and so stressed from the situation already thought a solicitor would take alot of the stress away. But I want to know do things ever get easier is it always going to be a fight to be in her life and can't be good for my daughter to get brought up with the bitterness towards me from my ex will there ever be a point where it might be a point where I should walk away for the best for my daughter or is the best thing to fight no matter what to be in her life.

I can't say it will get easier, it depends on the situation, and how things go in court, I can say, thought, that if you go to court being completely open and honest, and your ex digs holes for herself, every judgement in your favour certainly helps you to cope much better.

Hi markb,

I definately, agree with actd here.

What sort of Contact are you hoping to achieve markb?

Well iv been told to exspect a contact centre for 6 visits every two weeks to start off with but do understand daughter is still very young and depended on the mum so asking for 4 hours every other weekend to start with and build up as she gets Older. Even tho ex normally always leaving her with her mum witch I personally always felt my ex was having the baby for her mum to bring up as she get bord at home during the day.

Just had the cafcass ring me asking for her date of birth so they can do her police checks as Shes not responding to her letters or phone calls and she's also not replying to my solicitor

What are the police checks they want to do? It does sound like she's not doing herself any favours here, so it may make it easier for you in the long run, though obviously hard at the moment.

Hi mark,

Just noticed this post, i think that given your daughters age you should perhaps consider that contact should be little and often. Given that she is only 3months, i'd probably argue that a safer bet would be twice a week for and hour at a time and possibly weekend for 2-3hrs. I'm sure i'm not alone on the thought that a Court will view 4hrs in one hit as a quite substantial amount of time. I know it seems quite unreasonable to read, but you're best playing it safe on this.

4hrs every other weekend isn't something i'd ever advise anyone to apply for with a young child, but the above recommendation, you are open to choose.

If your daughter is breast fed, this will make even more issues.

CAFCASS
If you have a Court date, i can tell you that if she does not attend, without a reason, a Judge will order that on the next hearing her attendance must be made. Its when she gets to Court that CAFCASS will then interview her to get her take, this in turn will be told to you and also read to the Court.

This is quite common and can be a way of stalling the process

I'm understanding that she needs her mum more than me ATM if be happy for a hour on a sat lol but would love 4 hours a week like 2 lots of 2 hours and I know she's not best feeding even tho she is claiming
She is to me have loads of photos of her bottle feeding and I know my ex goes out for the hole weekend and leaves my daughter with her mum and thank you for all your advise

hi, just to let you know your not the only one going throught this, i am having trouble with my ex and her mum on seeing my 1 to be on sunday little girl, my ex's mum has alot to blame for this like you said i think my ex had our daughter for the sake of her mums as she is 45 alone with no friends, and the fact that now my ex lives with her mum she thinks she has alot to say about the matter, i get the phone calls and texts off her mother like, "we are having a family night the only thing your daughter is missing is her dad" stupid little things like that but it is so hard to control your self, and snap back, from being her dad for the last 11months to not seeing her at all is killing me, i am going through medation at the moment and if she refuses to that then medation will give me a form to show she is being unreasonable and this will go a long way in my favour at court, i was given this number you should try calling it i found them really usefull 0139 227 1610

I tried mediation but just got ignored and Then had one last try to talk to her but her lovely mother jumped straight in going u just don't want to spend the money to see her shows how much u care. It's so annoying why should men who have done nothing wrong get put though this like it's a game I'm shocked a 45 year old women can want this for her granddaughter