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Ok I'm a newbie, so bear with me......
I separated from my wife 7 years ago (still legally married as she won't divorce) we have a daughter (13) who lives with my ex 250 miles away.
My Ex refuses contact by phone / email / in person. She does not pass on christmas or birthday cards/presents. I pay and always have via the CSA child support.
I want to see my daughter but as my ex will not speak to me or respond to texts, communication is difficult. When she does she is always negative.
I have contact with my daughter but only recently via the internet and know she wants contact with me.
What is the best route here please? Solicitors are potentially going to cost a lot but it's the only way I can see any sense in it all. I have been slow admittedly and due to the distance its not being straight forward, like being able to go round to thrash it out with her etc.
I have a partner who has children and I also have a child with my partner.
How does it work when there is such a large distance so far as courts and solicitors etc??
I'm at my wits end now as its years since I've seen my daughter and my ex seems determined to block any sense or offers I propose.
Please can anyone offer some pointers to get things moving?
Hi so is it 6 years since you have seen your daughter ? im presuming you have pr ?
Yes. Shamefull I know but it did start out 'normal' - phone calls etc. Then it all went sour. I am the legal father and my name is on the birth certificate.
M.
Hi Madhou5e
A contact order is really going to be the only way i am aware of to resolve this as your ex don't seem to won't to play ball. The distance could be a problem as a contact order will expect regular contact to promote stability. This could mean 500 miles to travel fortnightly or monthly. Are you up for it?
Hi, the years can fly by and we know only too well how Dads can give up due to constant battles, so don’t beat yourself up over this and the fact she is 500 miles away.
First I would think how you can achieve seeing your daughter and when, It’s not going to be regular but you could build up a relationship via Skype, letters, etc. then maybe meet up. Going to court will cost you £200 and time of work and travelling expenses and you have to submit the court papers nearest to where your child lives so you will be expected to travel. Also it might take at least 4 court trips, the court will expect you to try mediation so I would suggest this first, which again is not going to be easy. When you say you have contact, is that via face book? And I’m presuming Mum does not know, or does she?
Even if you went to court and gained contact the mum could insist this is done at a contact centre and again this will be only for an hour and to travel all that way for one hour ! It could be you might have to wait till your daughter can be independant from the mum , but stay in touch , sorry i cant advise anything more positive
I'm not sure I agree with the above. I did do a 400+ mile round trip to see my kids every 2 weeks for 2 years and it was a bit tiring, but worth it. I'm not sure that there is any reason for a contact centre to be involved, in which case, you could be looking at a full day with your daughter, and I would even consider the option of once a month, but that you stay in a hotel overnight to make it a weekend a month. I think it's certainly worth going for.
With regards the divorce - I think in terms of the length of time of separation, your ex can't prevent this now so you could go for this as well.
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