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Helloo all!!
After a nightmare few months and visits to solicitors things have died down a litttle now.
I have changed my number so the Mother to my daughter can not call and text me abuse it was an extreme thing to do but i had no choice i told her if there is ever an emergency she will have to contact my partents and they will get in contact with me! Its the only way i can see forward i cant cope with it any more!!!
However my question is.....
I cant afford solicitors fee and i dont quite fall into the bracket for legal aid which is a total nightmare however iv heared to can apply for Paretnal rights yourself through the courts and it will cost around £200.00 is this ture and what happens if she doesnt agree to sign them does it then go through courts?? Im also trying to get her to sign a family based arrangment form i got sent from cmo via this web site however she is refusing to sign it and the only reason being is she wants to be able to control me! Ineed this to stop i need to move on with my life! Its almost 5 years now why she cant just leave me alone i dont know!! Is it so much to ask to want contact with my daughter but without the nasty abuse of an ex thinking she can use my daughter just to get at me?? This isnt about my little girl this is about her resenting me and clinging on to the one thing she can still controll me with and use against me .... MY DAUGHTER!!! Its should be about our daughter not her!! GGRRRRR so frustraited!!!! Ps please excue my spelling errors!!!!
Hi Micky
You can apply to the court yourself, and it's a £200 fee, and that's all you pay if you represent yourself. If the court orders that you have parental responsibilty, then it makes no difference that she doesn't sigh the form, but if she sees that you are prepared to go to court, she may change her mind.
Regarding maintenance, she doesn't have to sign this - if she doesn't then there is obviously no agreement, and maintenance can be sorted out via CSA - you can apply for this as well as her. Alternatively, you could simply pay her the amount agreed (make sure it goes via a bank and that it clearly states child maintenance).
As for the emergency arrangements - is there any danger that she will phone your parents and give them abuse? If so, then you need another way to tackle this, but I agree that you need to take back control of your own life.
Thank you for the advise... really helpful. As for her giving my parents abuse i dont think she will she hasnt so far however if that did start to happen to you have any other suggestions of how i could tackle the problem??
Also do you know much about having a Mckenzie friend?? (sorry not sure how to spell this) Who can this be is it possibe etc etc..??
And thanks again really helped 🙂
Hi MickyB,
A Mckenzie friend is basically someone who can accompany you to court, in order to take notes, provide support and even potentially assist with strategy and/or the preparation of documents or correspondence. Ultimately it is up to the judge who can/cannot be a Mckenzie friend but anyone involved with the case, particlarly a witness or family member, should be avoided. It is pretty much accepted that a Litigant in Person should be allowed a Mckenzie friend - however there is nothing to say that this person needs to be an actual friend and there are organisations - i.e. charities and/or fee-charging firms who have experience in this area and may be able to help - this can be cheaper than preofessional legal representation although they may also not be professionally qualified (although still potentially be able to help!)
One thing I think I have heard - I think the other side might have the opportunity to object to a Mackenzie friend - it's then up to the judge. I have a vague recollection that it has happened to someone on here in the past. 🙁
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