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Hi - I hope someone can offer advice.
I am separated 3 years and divorced for one. We have just sold the family home and my ex has moved to a new residence somewhere nearby to me with my 8 year old daughter. I'm paying CSA and matrimonial support.
The problem I have is that I feel she is trying to cut me out of my parental responsibilities and rights. 3 weeks after the move there is no news about her new address or phone number. I'm getting to see my daughter but she is dropped off and picked up. I also have no idea of school arrangements. Requests for this information or to try and resolve just go unanswered. we communicate at a basic level on email.
I believe I have some rights to be consulted over important decisions such as which school is attended and where she is living. However I haven't been. But what can I do about it. Do I need to go to court and what would they do?
As you have parental responsibility you are entitled to know about schooling and health and to be kept updated on her progress.
The accepted first step before considering court is to try to resolve your issues through mediation. Here's is a link
www.nfm.org.uk
There is a charge for using this service but if you are on a low income or in receipt of benefits you will be entitled to legal aid. You can check this here www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid
Your ex's behaviour isn't in the best interests of your daughter, she needs her parents to work together ....mediation might help to get you both on the right track.
You might also like to consider Relate, they are experienced in helping families through break up. Here's a link
www.relate.org
Here is a link to a blog by an expert in the field of separated families, you might find useful. Karen Woodall is a recognised expert in this field.
www.karenwoodall.wordpress.com
Thanks Nannyjane for your reply.
I don't think mediation is an option for us, my ex refuses to communicate on any level, not answering emails and I don't know where she lives or phone number. I would only be too happy to work with her in my daughter's interest.
It's pretty clear to me I'm being cut out of my parental responsibilities, probably out of spite. I know I have rights as a parent but am not too confident on the courts and solicitors following the financial settlement.
I don't know where to go with this, do I have to go to court each time important decisions need making around my daughter?
I still think you could try mediation, if you go along and have the initial interview then the mediator would contact her and invite her to attend. The mediator could possibly communicate with her by email. Or he could write a letter which you could pass to her when she drops your child with you. She might think twice about refusing or ignoring a more official request, if she does then the mediator will issue you with a form FM1 which you would submit to court with your application for contact.
Unfortunately if she continues to behave in the same way she can create problems for you as and when....if mediation isn't the answer then court would be the next step. Legal aid isn't available for family law anymore so although you might have to represent yourself, she will too...this might level the playing field for you.
It might be a good idea for you to attend a local FNF (Families Need Fathers) meeting, they have been very helpful for other members in the past. Here's a link to the page on their website that will allow you to find out where there's a meeting close to you
www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support/local-branch-meetings
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
