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Hi all. Im Adam and ive been split up from my partner for just over a year.
I see my kids for two nights per week and have recently, very politely, asked my ex if i could up this to 3 nights to which she threatened me with court proceedings.
Do i need to go through the courts to get to see them the extra night?
Do i have a chance or am i wasting my time?
What rights do i have regarding how much access i can get??
I really hope someone can help me as i love my kids, as all of you will appriciate, very very much!
Thanks
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Hi Adam and welcome to the forum
The simple answer is that if you want to increase contact and your ex refuses, then the only way to get that increase is to get a contact order. However the first approach is to try to sit down with her and see if you can come to an amicable arrangement, and if she doesn't agree then suggest that you could try mediation in order to avoid having to go to court. You do need to let her know that you are prepared to go to court if necessary though so she doesn't she has you at a disadvantage.
I'd have a look at yoji's guide to representing yourself in the legal section so you have an idea what's involved. In my opinion, what you are asking for is not unreasonable at all.
i'm not a real expert but i can't see what she can start court proceedings over. It seems strange and almost intimidation.
i've just come out of the court where i represented myself to get parental responsibility and a contact order. I guess i got a nice judge because i got more than i hoped for.
my experience is that at least some of the judges see through the intimidation of the mothers. they've seen it all.
depending on how confident you are with admin processes, it is actually quite feasible to self represent. and it shows you care.
on the initimidation from your ex, she can only threaten successfully to take you to court if she can demonstrate that you are ill-intentioned, careless or utter inept and incompetent at looking after your children.
i have been through a lot of intimidation - a tough think for a 6ft tall contact sport athlete that can break the neck of any of those a**e h*les in one swipe. I've had to breathe deep and bite my tongue, and yes, cry. but i did it for my boy. we are faced with a generation of media-pumped, unhappy, arrogant mothers who seem to be imbued of themselves and believe they have the monopoly of good jugement and truth - till it comes to changing a wall socket. the judges and Cafcass can see through them.
good luck
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