[Solved] PLEASE HELP I AM GIVING UP HOPE 🙁

Hi Raymod,

...If you give in to her this will happen again and again.

You do have rights and as you have had consistent and regular contact with your daughter this will support your case.

The first step would be to attempt Mediation, this is now the accepted first step in disputes over contact and other family matters and the court will expect this to have been tried first. It would be better if you leave communicating with the mother about attending mediation to the Mediator. You will go for the initial appointment and discuss the issues, the mediator will then write to her and invite her to attend. If she ignores this or refuses you will be issued with a form FM1 which you would then submit to court with your application for a Contact Order. there is a charge for this service but if you are on benefits ort a low income then you will be entitled to legal aid, you can check if you are eligible here www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid ...and heres a link to the Mediation service www.nfm.org.uk

In April 2013 there were changes to Legal Aid and it is no longer available for Family Law cases unless there has been domestic violence that can be proved. So both you and the mother will either have to pay a solicitor or represent yourselves. There are many Dads here that have chosen to self represent and it is very doable. There are two stickys at the top of the Legal Eagle section about self representing and one about the C100 form, which is the form you would need to submit to the court. There is a charge of £200 to apply to the court but if you are on benefits or a low income you will be entitled to an exemption, this can be applied for with forn EX160a.

As far as the harassment of your partner, get copies of the messages and pictures and the next time this happens call the police and report her.

Hi Raymond,

I can't offer much advice other than to say Nannyjane has helped me greatly and her advice has been invaluable I would deffinetly recommend you follow her advice.

I'm going through similar as are most of the dads on here (hence we have all found this great resource) and have been baned from collecting my daughter from my ex's house after her new fella assaulted me on the doorstep. I am the victim and yet I get penalised as next week I won't see my daughter as I have no one to collect her from her mums for me. The following week my ex is taking her away again so out of the last 5 weeks due to holidays and circumstances I will not have seen my daughter for 4 weeks.

Fortunately this week I have her on 3 occasions 1 of which is an overnight stay and in total I will have her 40 hours.

My only advice is....,.. It's hard, you will cry, you won't want to go to work, you won't sleep, you will feel ill but at the end of the day you need to be strong, keep motivated, find something to take your mind of the situation and never ever, ever give in!

Eventually as your daughter gets older she will understand how hard her dad had to fight for contact and that alone will prove to her just how much you love her. At least that's what im hoping plus when we are together we always have a fun and loving relationship which is only ever tearful when my daughter begs me not to take her home to her mum as she wants to play with me.

I think I'm doing something right.

Never give in! Good luck and take care.

Thank you for the advice, I have read the "representing yourself in court section" which is very helpful.
I am not eligable for legal aid as i work full time even though after i pay the CSA and tax on my wage i am under the £2,657 limit.

So if I cant afford to take her to mediation is there another solution for me at all?
As she was the one that cheated and the fact she is gay and living with her partner my daughter and her partners daughter, does that mean I will have a better chance in court?

Thanks for the advice, it is all helping.

...There really isn't another solution, first step is mediation...

The fact that she cheated doesn't give you any advantage in court, nor the fact that she is now gay....the courts are only concerned with the childs best interests and don't care about what goes on between the parents. If however there are safeguarding concerns with her new partner then the court would be interested.

Remember if you take it to court she will also have to represent herself, perhaps she is not aware of this. Perhaps if you share this information with her it might make her reconsider her actions, its no longer a matter of being able to get solicitors involved. The other option is to get a solicitor to write her a letter outlining your rights and the steps you are prepared to take to get contact back on track. If you go with this also get the solicitor to mention that legal aid is no longer available if it were to go to court.

Thanks Kennymac

It's this belief that keeps me going, I just pray I'm right because its a struggle!!!

Hi Raymond

Legal Aid is still available for mediation. So if your finances are under the required limited, you should apply for legal. Defo go for mediation first, and as NJ says, don't give in, unfortunately mothers seem to think its their way or the highway. They are wrong.

Depending on your income too, if you end up going to court, you may be exempt from Court fees.

Thank you for the kind words and advice.

My ex's mother works at the solictors she is using, is this not conflict of interest?

I am going to see a solicitor on Saturday and have a letter sent to her with my rights as you have advised, I have had to use a solictor out of town she has her best friend & her mother working at the two solictors in my town

I have started to record the phone calls messages and any proof of her taking my daughter places she shouldnt be.

I cant believe mothers can be so selfish, why take a childs Dad away from them, surely she isnt thinking about my Daughter in all of this.
I am also worried about the fact she is not wanting to come and see me and the fact shes saying to me "i dont like boys i only like girls" I just fear that if i loose contact with her they can minipulate my Daughter how they want 🙁

You are right though if worst comes to worst I will keep all evidence of me fighting for my Daughter so hopefully she will know how much I love her when shes older.