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Hi,
My son is 9 nearly 10 and although a contact order(every other weekend) is in place and we receive extra time also(every wednesday), my ex has tried to withhold contact. Ex told me at last minute that lo would not be coming as she had something planned and then started arguing with my wife as she quite rightly pointed out that she was breaking the contact order if the weekend was not replaced the next week. I have been in this before with her and we ended up in court with her spouting lies,like he is dyslexic (even told lo this). Contact got reinstated, all has been okay until she split with partner and moved new one in. My ex is regularly using cocaine and drinking, she was once too hungover that she slept in bed till 1pm leaving lo to look after his 4 and 1 year old brother and sister. For gods sake what if something had happened, it makes me so mad! My ex is out all the time leaving undesirables to look after my son, forgetting on occasion to collect my lo from school. My lo school work has started to suffer and the teacher has noticed a difference in him.
Since splitting with my ex I have married and have 2 other children who lo rarely gets time with although it is my exes argument to why lo should not have extra time with me. All the children are at the same school and as in different years do not see each other. My ex often drops lo off late or picks up late, sorry if this is a rant!
To get to the point, should I apply for joint custody? Would I stand a chance? Who can sort out problem of lo being left with responsibility of younger silblings?
Hope someone can help.
Thanks for reading
There is no way that a 9 year old should have responsibility for younger siblings. I would strongly advise talking to social services and getting legal advice on applying for a residence order. I assume the 1 and 4 year old are not yours, so I'm not sure what the position is with this, but I would say, from what you have said, that all of the children are potentially at risk.
Hi Dadgoingmad
I have asked our legal experts to sign in and respond to your question - Our legal experts are the Children's Legal Centre and will give you free lagal advice.
Hang in there as it may take them a few days, if you are concerned about your sons welfare call social services.
Dear dadgoingmad
If you feel that your son is at risk as a result of your ex-partner’s drug and alcohol use then you can make an application to court for a residence order. In order for residence to be changed from one parent to another the court will generally have to feel that there is a risk to the child living with their current resident parent. The courts do not like to uproot children from their current routine unless there is very good reason to do so.
You can apply to the court either using a solicitor or yourself. If you qualify for legal aid then it is a good idea to use a solicitor who will be familiar with the court process and will be able to further advise you on your chances of success. To determine whether or not you qualify for legal aid you can enter your financial information into a calculator which is on the Community Legal Advice website ( http://www.communitylegaladvice.org.uk/ ... ulator.jsp ).
If you do not qualify for legal aid then you can act for yourself. This is called acting as a litigant in person. In order to make the application to court for a residence order you will need to download the C100 form from the HMCS website. Please follow the link to download the C100 form - http://www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/HMCS ... ms_id=2253 . It may also be useful to download the guidance notes on the HMCS website relating to the Children and Family Courts and how they operate - http://www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/cour ... /cb1_e.pdf .
You will need to fill in the C100 form and send it back to the court with the application fee of £175. The court will then send you back further paperwork advising you what steps to take next. There is more information on how to represent yourself in court on the Families Need Father's website - http://www.fnf.org.uk/law-and-information .
The court will make a decision as to whether or not to grant the order depending on what they feel is in your son’s best interests. The judge may instruct a CAFCASS officer to speak with your son to gain his opinion on where he wishes to reside. If the CAFCASS officer feels that your son is mature enough to make the decision for himself then it is likely that an order will be granted in accordance with his wishes. There is no defined age as to when a child is considered to be competent as this is assessed on an individual basis depending on a child’s understanding of the situation and emotional maturity.
The Children’s Legal Centre would not recommend that a 9 year old is left responsible for two younger siblings. It is important to voice your concerns to social services who will then decide whether or not to take any action. If you are concerned about this incident then you can also contact the NSPCC for further clarification. The NSPCC’s advice line telephone number is 0808 800 5000.
If you need further advice then please do not hesitate to contact the Child Law Advice Line on 08088 020 008 or visit our website: www.childrenslegalcentre.com .
Kind regards
Children’s Legal Centre
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