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My ex is planning on moving house with my twin boys and her new partner in July, from 5 miles away currently to approximately 20 miles away. Whilst this is no huge distance, I'd like to confirm whether this will affect my contact, which I'm sure it will do and what my options are.
Some background info: we divorced when the boys were 6 months old, whilst I was completing my teacher training. I found a job in the same city to ensure that I had regular contact - at the time, this was 3 evenings a week and split weekends. My ex has continued to work part-time from home 3 days a week (although one of those is in London). School holidays have been fairly split over the past year, but up to that point, I had to work around the fact that my ex had a nanny for the boys who took them to and from school 5 mins away and continued to work in school hols!!
When the boys started primary school, my ex asked that I didn't go and see them on Fridays as she wouldn't see them as much! I now collect the boys from school on Tuesdays (as their mother works in London that day) and takes them back to put them to bed, and also on alternate Fridays where they stay with me overnight.
Since the boys were 2 years old, they've stayed and holidayed with me, my partner and her son, who they consider a big brother (2 yrs older).
The prospective house move would make it impossible for me to take/collect the boys to/from school due to the distance, let alone allow them to come over during the week after school as a 11/2 hr round trip wouldn't be reasonable. The boys are extremely happy at their current school, have numerous friends and are excelling academically.
My concern is the possible effect it would have on them to not have access to their "step-brother" and myself, not to mention their paternal grandmother who they see fortnightly as she lives close, but does not drive. In an ideal world, I would like them to stay at their current school as I could take & collect them each day (and have done so when their mother was working abroad for a week). Currently, they have 4 different people taking/collecting each week (excluding myself), so I think my suggestion would offer more stability. This would however necessitate a residency order, I believe.
All advice welcome.
Hi ajr,
Well, to be fair, you might need a Residency Order. It all depends on the relationship you have with your ex wife.
If you are on speaking terms, you could get your ex's take on your Son's now living with you and that you would think this would suit them better and would mean they could stay at school with all their friends. You would need to say that you do consider her in this and would be happy in supporting residency being shared and that this is a good thing. Some parents are very amicable, and work together around issues for the best of the children and can agree on something like the above.
How old are your Sons?
Is your ex thinking of moving their school?
Do you currently pay maintenance? <--- This is a very important factor
In direct answer to your initial statement, dependant on the circumstances a move of 10-15 miles can severely affect contact where one or more parents works. Its clear you have their best interests at heart here.
Thanks Yoji for the reply and suggestion of looking into a residency order.
My sons are 6 years old and, yes, I have been paying maintenance monthly for the past 5 years. She is indeed thinking of moving school, although has not discussed this as yet - I am not in favour of this as the quality of their current school is very good, the school itself being consistently oversubscribed each year. A new school in the area to which they are moving would make it impossible for me to collect my sons from school on Tuesdays and alternate Fridays - the school where i teach finishes 25mins before theirs on the other side of town, but haven't been late yet!
It's probably worth mentioning that these collections from school could be more if my ex-wife allowed - they spend Mondays & Wednesdays after school with a child-minder. My ex-wife works from home 3 days a week.
I'm hopeful of having a discussion this week, so will test the water re living arrangements, although I'm fairly certain of the reply.
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