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Hi,
This may not be an easy question to answer, as there is a lot of information involved and too much to write all down.
The main question is, do I have a legal right to ask for a psychological examination on my son’s mother?
Here are some details. Me and my ex have a mutual arrangement for me to have access to my son. Things previously have been a bit troublesome from her side and she has admitted having to go to counselling sessions because she ‘has good days and bad days’. I felt the full brunt of these ‘bad days’. I have been nothing but reasonable and amicable towards her despite suffering streams of text abuse. Earlier this year she started to get better but still had off moments.
Last year she found out that I had asked someone out on a date and she flipped, she sent me hundreds of crappy messages and arranged for the girl to be harassed by someone else giving her false, derogatory information about me. She found out a few weeks ago that I am now seeing someone else and had been really calm about it. Last week, I got my son to draw a Mother’s day card for her and she loved it, then suddenly out of the blue she flipped again. She said that she was going to deny me access to my son until she has a meeting with my new girlfriend. She also demanded to know her name. I was quite reluctant to give any information because of previous events and her suddenly becoming irrational and using my son as a bargaining tool rather than a human being. She said that she has a right to know who sees her son, which I agree with but I said that a meeting with an ex and a new girlfriend will never be good. She kept demanding a name and I said that seeing as she didn’t know here a name was irrelevant. She just got crazier, she told me she contacted social services and they said that she has every right to meet this new girlfriend. There’s loads more craziness but in the end I gave in and told her the girlfriend’s name and the ex immediately tracked her down on Facebook and other social stuff, and started going crazy. I know this may be part jealousy but her constant flipping between calm and insane is getting worrying, there are some serious schizophrenic or bipolar tendencies here and I am getting increasingly worried about her sanity. This now points back to the main question, can I ask for a psychological examination on my son’s mother?
hi there,
I'm not sure who you would ask...if you were going through the courts for contact you could request such a test but as you have a mutually agreed arrangement for contact with the kids that wont apply.
If you are seriously worried then you could speak to Childrens Services about it, but they may not have the power to insist on psychological tests, they could go and speak to her and check that she is coping. This could have a detrimental effect on your already strained relationship with her though.
Thanks Nannyjane, I don't really want to go down the Children's services route as there are some other things that may crop up which will severely damage her parenting skills and don't really want to go that far, I just want to make sure she is stable enough to look after him and can start being reasonable in our love for him.
I always think of this quote from The Terminator everytime I try talk to her:
"Listen, and understand. That EX is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead" 😆
OK, I'll add another question - what would you hope to achieve by getting a psychological assessment? In other words, if it turns out there is a problem - what would you be prepared to do about it? If you aren't prepared to take any action, then there is absolutely nothing to be gained by asking for one (and it could make matters worse) - if you are prepared to do something, then NJ's suggestion of contacting childrens services makes a lot of sense.
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