[Solved] Quick Question

Hi

I think they may speak to the 8 and 6 year old, this happened to my brother and his kids were saying they didn’t want to see him and they were of similar age. But the mother had poisoned there minds, im not saying this is the case with yours. He took is ex to court and got a contact order and he had to meet up with his kids on a weekly basis and was observed with a social worker present and he eventually won his kids round and proved he only had there best interests at heart, he now has a great relationship with his children and has them alt weekends. We need to encourage a relationship with the non resident parent and try and encourage the children to have a relationship. We all do things in our past which we regret later and if the mum is now trying and wants to see them and there’s no danger involved I think she should be allowed. Why don’t you set up a meeting a in a whacky type place so she can see them and you are in the back ground.

Hi there 🙂

I wrote a long detailed post to you last night and as I sent it my internet went down! 🙁 Anyway here goes again...

I read through your previous posts and my heart goes out to you all...Thank goodness the children have you both fighting their corner.

I have some experience of this with my 5 year old grandson. During the court process CAFCASS did speak to him on his own he was 4 at the time. They didnt appear to place much importance on it though and when we tried to speak for him later about his wishes, we were viewed with some suspicion. However my son was successful and was granted Residency. My grandson was neglected and verbally and physically abused. Contact was granted to his mother and she has him every other weekend and once a week after school for tea. He often doesnt want to go but as he knows Daddy will always be along to pick him up, he goes along with it. Children are very resilient, my grandson is a different child now, happy and confident.

If it goes back to court, I think that apart from the youngest child, CAFCASS will talk to them without you both present and will report on what they say. If you tell the judge how intermittent the mothers contact has been and ask that telephone contact be continued until regular contact is established, I dont think they could object to that. In fact I think it likely in the circumstances. Once she has established consistency then you could expect that supervised contact would be the next step....once a month at a supervised centre so that the contact can be monitored. As long as you're being seen to encourage appropriate contact that is in the best interests of the children then I should think you should be allowed to set the pace.

As far as the youngest child is concerned, I think you have the right to voice your concerns about his confusion and lack of any bond to the mother. The fact that he sees you as his mother has just been a natural transition over the time you have been caring for him and nothing to do with you not wanting him to have a relationship with his mother. I would try and argue that it would not be in his best interests at the moment because of his age.

If your oldest is having difficulties or showing signs of stress it might be a good idea to have a chat to your GP about it and the effects this is having on them. Perhaps the doctor could refer her/them to a child psychologist, this might help your cause and she would have someone to talk things through who will listen to her.

Also I have read about young children being given their own solicitor, its something I dont really know anything about but it might be helpful to look into it.

I wish you all the best of luck and hope with all my heart that the outcome is the right one for you all 🙂