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Posts: 126
Registered
Topic starter
(@cartmell)
Estimable Member
Joined: 13 years ago

Just got back from court. Ex partner wanted to tear up the court order and stop all over night contact because one of the children doesn't want to sleep over. Basically the little girl says her mother needs her but always returns back the next day and is happy.

The judge said the court order must stand and it was basically unfair on the children who wanted to sleep over to stop that. Ex partner was not happy and her solicitor tried arguing with the judge for 15 minutes but the judge did not back down.

Because there had been accusations of me discussing stuff with the children (which I denied) and have evidence that in fact the mother has done, the judge simply wanted us to make a statement without admitting anything that mother and father would try not to tell the children anything. I agreed but again her solicitor argued and they would not say that. The judge tried to explain to her for 15 minutes for the wording to say both parties going forward etc will not tell the children stuff but they would not agree. My barrister was quite surprised about this.

Because we have both submitted a c100 to change the court order, I have moved house and am closer now I want to see the children more with overnight mid week contact and she in fact wants me to see them less (for some reason) judge has instigated a wishes and feelings report with CAFCASS.

I'm confident that the contact I am asking for is not unreasonable and will make me more of an equal parent. Other than try and remain positive with CAFCASS explaining that the children have a great time and want to be with me is there any advice anybody can give ?

Cheers


6 Replies
Posts: 41
 Jb22
Registered
(@Jb22)
Trusted Member
Joined: 12 years ago

Although Cafcass have had bad press, I've found them to be nothing but helpful, to the point and they try to see common sense prevails. A fact that some judges fail to see. Keep positive, I'm sure all will all turn out fine.


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Posts: 555
Registered
(@boycieuk)
Prominent Member
Joined: 13 years ago

Well done mate - this sounds positive.....

I agree with all the objective keeping it focussed with kids.

I have prepared pictures of the kids having fun with daddy (like 5x3 on an a4) a few pages....a picture paints a 1000 words

Also think about throwing it back on cafcass and ask - would they have any suggestions on managing acromonious sitautions, may show you have developed further insight.

Good luck


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Posts: 8551
 Mojo
Registered
(@Mojo)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 13 years ago

That's a good result so far I think, I too am surprised that they were allowed to refuse the statement....at least its an indication of your ex's inflexibility and it could work against her in the long run.

Depending on the ages of your children CAFCASS will want to speak to them to find out what their ascertainable wishes are. They may want to have an observational visit to see how you and the children interact. Just be open and talk about the benefits for your children having you fully involved in their lives. Keep all your responses child focused and express the wish for you and your ex to be able to put your differences aside and work together for the sake of the children. Good luck!


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Posts: 126
Registered
Topic starter
(@cartmell)
Estimable Member
Joined: 13 years ago

many thanks. I have done nothing wrong and having nothing to hide and the access that I want with my children is reasonable so am not too worried about the CAFFCASS meeting.

Got back from the court and fell asleep on the setee for a few hours and just eaten properly for the first time in a few days !

feel much better now !

I do feel for a lot of people when I read the forum topics here and my thoughts are with you all

Cheers


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