[Solved] Re: Ex Parte non molestation order

I would think (though I'm not certain) that most of the stuff could be used in court. A judge is unlikely to listen to recordings directly, but you can transcribe them and state that you have the recordings as proof of the conversations - this is assuming that they were taken directly, and not from a phone call.

Hi Redly, I am so sorry that you are going through what I have been going through. I have been meaning to post my follow up with what has happened to me since I first posted this, but have been manic with work (no excuse I know!!!)
Ok I was in court a few weeks ago for the final non mol case and residency case as it was all being heard on the same day. I arrived at 9am to meet with my barrister and we were due to go into court at 10am The judge then called my barrister and hers into court and apparently said the whole case was a waste of time and he didnt want to hear the evidence???? He asked both barristers to convince us to take cross undertakings. I was pi**ed off that I had gathered so much evidence and brought a witness with me and I wanted to say no to the cross undertakings and have my day in court. My barrister said she agreed with my feelings but advised against it because of what the judge was like and had said. Everything that she put in her scott schedule were absolute lies and i had proof to counter anything she came up with. My ex decided to take cross undertakings as she knew she had so many discrepancies in her statements. In retrospect I am glad as much as I can be to accept the undertaking as it gives me some protection from her as hopefully she will think before she acts now!!

Anyway after this disappointment I was not expecting much from the case to see my son. We went into the court room and the judge amazed me as to how pro active he was towards me and told my ex that through all her allegations there was no reason that she could give or that he could see in her statement that i was of any threat to my son, despite my ex saying all contact should be in a contact centre. The judge basically told her you sort out a mutually agreeable contact with me via our barristers or he would sort it out and told her you might not like what I agree to.
The rest of the day was spent with her barrister trying to bring down my contact arrangements but I stood strong and would not budge with what i thought was a fair compromise.
I agreed to her having residency of my son but I now have a contact order for every other weekend sat-sun alternate xmas days and a week in the xmas hols. and the rest of the school holidays are split about 40/60 in her favour. I also had put into the contact order that I am able to take my son abroad for holidays and she is not allowed to take him out of school term time to go on cheaper holidays. Despite her having residency she must also tell me the dates and location if she does take my son out of the UK. All in all I would never have got this amount of access had we done this through mediation, more due to how my ex is rather than the mediation process!!
It still amazes me that someone can put a non mol ex parte on an ex and lie in her statement and get away with it, I also fear that this situation will become a more popular process for angry ex's to do because after next April the only legal aid for family matters will be for violence cases!!
Redly all I can advise is be strong and don't let anyone bully you. In my case I was not allowed the actual recording to be played but I had to get it professionally transcribed but it does depend from court to court with what is and what isn't allowed. I would advise to transcribe the recordings yourself at the very least as all evidence needs to be shared with the ex's solicitor. Before the non mol goes to court you will be sent a scott schedule which will give you the opportunity to respond to her allegations. I'm not sure about bringing along a witness, I had to get this agreed by the courts and her solicitor. Basically you can present what you want as evidence as far as I'm aware (providing you are not hacking into facebook accounts etc....)as all evidence has to be shared before the court case. If you have a solicitor then they will advise what they feel is most relevant if you don't then feel free to post on this forum and I'm sure we can all help you.

Don't give up!!!

David, thanks for providing such a thoughtful and lengthy reply. I'm glad you're fairly satisfied, and that the judge took an impartial look at things.
It's amazing that the courts take such a lenient view of your wife's actions, it seems to be widely accepted and recognised fact that family and domestic courts are heavily biased in favour of women. When I contacted my local social services team, to discuss serious concerns about my wife's behaviour towards my children, the head of that team told me that I would fight a lengthy and expensive battle for custody and that I'd probably have very little to show at the end of it.
As for my own 'non mol' battle, your story gives me hope. At present I have three days access, as part of an interim order, however the 'handover' didn't take place on monday. No reason was given.
Thanks again

In a way, I'm not surprised about the Judge's lenient attitude to the non-mol order. Look at what has been achieved in David's case - what would any 'punishment' achieved? What has happened is a pretty good level of contact which is, ultimately, what the hearing is about.