[Solved] Really need some advice.

Hi Anthony,

I am sorry to hear what has happened and I hope you do not end up with the same slog we have all faced. You must be missing him and its important to try and solve matters amicably. You may even get back together but its important to lay foundations early as the battle can become long and fraught.

You may wish to consider to expedite mediation to increase hours. Suggest given his age that a mid week meeting - eg 5-7 - or perhaps can you negotiate a slightly early start/leave on wed? Also if sat a problem for >4 hours perhaps breast feed and then collect him again.

If mediation does not work then it may have to consider court. The longer matters are left it may leave you open to apparently disrupting routines so get in early.

You may wish to use a less identifiable alias. 🙂

Hi Anthony

Your ex is still breastfeeding? Isnt your son now moving on to juice (via a bottle) and some solid food? Cant contact be fitted in around those times so that you get to feed him too?

Mediation is a good place to start or as Boycie suggests, having him longer on a Saturday but meeting the ex for a feed - that is if she is going to be strongly set against longer contact sessions.

As Boycie also suggests it might be best to use a less identifiable alias, as you never know who else might be looking through the forum for information.

Hi Anthony,

I think you should explore mediation as boycie has suggested. At six months your son is getting to the age when he should be starting to take solid foods and supplementary drinks, so this excuse has a limited life! Mediation can often take 2-3months at least and your son will be 9 months old and the breastfeeding excuse wont be as relevant...if she wont budge after mediation has been tried, or she refuses to attend then you might have to consider applying to the courts.

As you have only been split up for two weeks things may settle down given a little more time, and she may start to relax and become more amenable to longer contact.

Heys its been nearly 3 weeks now and things have got worse i only see him for 3-4 hours on a sat and 1 hour on a Wednesday. Hes eating food but still has [censored] occasionally. My ex has stated . You see him twice a week which is plenty of time. Its more than what most dads get so consider yourself lucky.

I just wanted to know that am i entitled to my son more that 5 hours a week. I work 9-5 mon fri. But she is always there when i see him

Hi Anthony,

I'm sorry to hear that you are still struggling with contact issues. It's your sons right to have you in his life and the belief is both parents should be fully involved. When break ups occur parents should act in the best interests of the child and not themselves....it has nothing to do with considering yourself lucky to see him!

The amount of time you are entitled to is a grey area I'm afraid...the basic that seems to be offered is a full weekend every fortnight and I day in the week...but this is generally when the child is a little older and more independent. Because of your sons age, it would more likely be shorter lengths but more often. I think that asking for an hour or two every other evening after work is reasonable, plus either a full morning or afternoon every Saturday or Sunday as a starting point is fair. After 3 months then you would expect thie weekend contact to be extended to a full day, again after 3-6 months that should again be increased to a full day and night....The fact that she is supervising is however not the norm when there are no safeguarding issues!

I think you should try and get this sorted out sooner rather than later before the schedule of contact becomes a routine. As said Mediation is the usual first step. Here's a link

www.nfm.org.uk

Id like to add to the point about a schedule of contact becoming routine.

Through my recent experience I very strongly believe that anyone who is refused regular contact with theyre child should act immediately before a schedule which is not in the best interests of the child becomes routine.

Once that schedule is routine it is the basis of any further contact requests and if it is irregular then it will be used against you and make any efforts more difficult and prolonged which is not in the best interests of the child.

Request mediation immediatley and if it is not accepted within 14 days request the FM1 and submit your C100 to the court.

This opinion is my own and others will have differing ones.

Regards,

Dave

I agree Dave! 🙂

If you are on a low income you may be entitled to Legal Aid for mediation. Here's a link to the Legal Aid calculator

www.gov.uk/legal-aid-check

Im going through mediation ive done the request and stuff just got to wait until she gets back from holiday with my son (shes gone for two weeks on Monday and i only found out yesterday) so she has her appointment with the mediator then we go from there i guess.