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Hi, complete newbie. Here goes with the short version of the story so far.
I and my ex, whom I have three boys with (have parental responsibility) split in 2008. We initially had a contact order done then. Wasn't what I wanted, but got more than some people get. That went ok, but then my job changed and I came off a shift rota and moved Mon - Fri 9-5. We went to mediation Jan 2011 and with some encouragement from the very good mediator who could see through the fake tears and lies, we agreed in every other weekend fri - sun and every Tuesday night.
Here come's the problem, we also agreed on extra contact, school holidays. I had the first agreed extra contact in the beginning of the holidays (although it cost me losing two Tuesdays). However I have picked the boys up today and have been told that I am not having the boys next week and expects them back on Sunday. A/L is booked from as is my partners and plans made.
Two questions I need serious help with, is there anything I can do to get the courts to say she should let me have the boys for next week as agreed in Jan.
Second thing, how do I go about turning the mediation into a contact order rubber stamped by the courts like my first contact order?
All the things done in the beginning was done with a solicitor and barrister and also had to pay for mediation. After several thousand pounds I really don't have the funds to pay solicitors fees etc. and would like to do this myself.
All help very much appreciated.
Hi rich,
The quickest and most honest answers to your questions:
1 - a court will not be able to grant you having next week. Even if this is through a court order that seemingly your ex may have broken then there isn't sufficient time to draw up a hearing to be listed quick enough. If this was however granted through a court order and you have now made provisions that have come at expense to yourself you may be entitled to be compensated.
2 - if you have reached an agreement through mediation, you will need to raise within an order. 4-6wish later a hearing may be required to ascertain the mediation agreement. If both parties agree it will be rubber stamped.
As a side issue, have you applied for a variation to your current order?
No didn't apply for a variation. Sould I?
Also have just found out that she never signed the mediation forms. However she is sticking to normal running of it i.e every other weekend and every Tuesday.
My worry is I try and push this through in any way and she starts reduceing the time I see the boy's. Another reason why I have continued to pay the extra CSA i have to.
Hi rich,
Please correct me if i go wrong anywhere.
You applied for a contact order following separation and this was granted and based on your previous jobrole. What was the original order of the courts?
Since moving 9-5 your times have changed but you have booked a holiday based on your mediation agreement (Tuesday and every other weekend).
If the above is correct i can give you further advice on it.
*****
In relation to mediation, it doesn't matter that she has not signed the form, the fact is that the mediation will serve as a record to an agreement taking place. This could theoretically be denied by your ex, however if this came before a court and she withdrew her agreement, there would be a very stern question(s) as to why she has now changed her mind.
I would definately say that now your work pattern has changed, applying for a variation could be very beneficial in respect of any other contact that would/should be possible.
If you push things through courts, then yes your ex will try and make this as difficult as possible, as i have stated in another thread very often [bitter] ex's see this as a challenge to their method of control over the Father (generally) and there are usually set patterns which women seem to follow i.e. stopping contact, badmouthing, making threats... most often is reducing contact.
Ultimately its only a decision you can make, but remember, under the current order you have what you've got and so far i'm guessing this isn't quite suiting you and what has been agreed through mediation would be better.
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