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[Solved] Relationship with 10 year old son


Posts: 126
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Topic starter
(@cartmell)
Estimable Member
Joined: 12 years ago

Have 4 children boy aged 10 and 3 girls aged 9, 6 and 4

Separated 3 months ( partner moved out and took the children ) and contact has been sporadic , mediation failed so have applied to court. I can talk to the children on the phone and have seen two at a time some weekends.

However 3 weeks ago my son won't talk to me on the phone or come see me. I wanted to go watch him do an activity tomorrow night but I have just been informed by his mother that he does not want me to go. I do not know why and it kinda "hurts" and i am sure his mother who is being totally awkward with me is not helping.

My relationship with the 3 girls is brilliant

Do I wait for court and mention this then or is there anything I can do in the meantime ?

Any help appreciated

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(@Nannyjane)
Joined: 13 years ago

Illustrious Member
Posts: 5426

Hi there cartmell,

You could be right, and the mother may well be behind his behaviour. Theres not a great deal you can do about it at the moment and I can understand how upsetting this must be.

Is there a third party, maybe a family member that might be able to mediate between the two of you. She needs to realize that your son is hurting and he needs both of you to get on and deal with the separation in a civilized way...if he can see you both communicating and getting on this would help to calm situation for him...

Perhaps you could try writing him a letter just to tell him how much you miss him and love him, and acknowledge that he is upset but reassure him that things will get better....just lots of encouragement and reassurance.

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(@cartmell)
Joined: 12 years ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 126

Yes I can actually text him everyday which I have been doing but he can't reply with his phone
I'm careful not to back him in a corner so I just write simple stuff like have a nice day at school and I love you etc

It hurts and I lost 1.5 stone in weight and wake up lots in the night for the last 3 months with everything but hope this is just temporary with the boy as for 10 years I was here with him every day and we had a great relationship.

Cheers

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