Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: We are not open to new posts at this time
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi all, it maybe a bit unusual, but i'm still trying to help & support my civil partner to gain more access to his 15 month old child born to an ex of his.
He has parental responsibility (he & his ex registered the birth together, even though 3 months into the pregnancy his ex said she slept with another man & therefore she's unsure as to whom the father really is!!!) has been & is still going to mediation.
For the last 3 months, he's been lucky if he gets to see his child for 1 hour per week!! supervised!!! by his exes mother! in our home (I 'disappear' for their visit, as we're concerned that my presence may 'rock the boat' with his ex, even though we've never met! etc).
Up until 6 months ago, he saw his child every single day, then his ex suddenly cut contact right down- no valid reason to do so!
At the last mediation 'shuttle'!! appointment, his ex was made to put in place in written form, an 'allowance' of him having their child for 2 hours per week, for the next 2 weeks. If his ex hasn't 'come up' with any other way of allowing him more access/or doesn't let him have their child for the 2 hours, then it'll go to court.
Basically, would someone please advise as to whether he should be applying / can apply for a shared residency order? & if he can / should apply for it now? as ultimately, all he wants is what's best for their child & to have EQUAL access to their child-to live with us half the week and also for their child to live the other half with the mother.
Also, what would his legal position be if he was to keep his child? eg, if, for instance, the supervisor brought his child to his home & he didn't 'give' his child back? he doesn't wish to do that (as obviously it wouldn't be fair / right for the childs welfare, to take his child from the mother), but it's breaking his heart not to have equal access to his only child.
I feel so helpless at times & would appreciate helpful / legal advice..
Hi Smiler and welcome
First off, your partner shouldn't consider just keeping his child, it would potentially lead to the police being called for abduction, and he really doesn't want that on his record. I'm not sure whether he'd succeed on getting shared residency when the child is so young, but I'm not 10% sure.
I would say that if mediation isn't going anywhere, then your partner should be considering going to court to get increased access. It's worth reading yoji's guid to representing yourself at the top of the legal section on the forum, and I'll ask the Children's Legal Centre to pop on and give an opinion, so please keep checking back and let us know how you're getting on.
Hi Smiler110,
If there are no court orders in place and the father has parental responsibility for the child then if he chooses not to return the child to the Mother it will not be considered abduction. You should however, consider the implications this may have, and how the court may view it if it goes to court at a later date. You should only act in the best interests of the child, and try not to antagonise the situation. As the mother currently is the full time carer of the children she can make the day to day decisions regarding their upbringing and she can also state how much contact the children should have with you. Any agreements made through mediation will not be legally binding, and so the mother will not be breaching any laws if she does not stick to them.
If you want to apply for residency or contact you would need a C100 form which you can obtain from www.justice.gov.uk or from your local family proceedings court. You may also wish to obtain the guidance forms CB1 and CB3. This application costs approximately £200 and you will need to take the forms and the fee to the court which is closest to the children. The court will then contact you with regards to a hearing date and they will let you know what you need to do next, for example serving the documents on the mother.
The court takes into account something called the Welfare Checklist which is outlined below:
The Welfare Checklist - section 1 (3) Children Act 1989
When a court is considering making any of these orders it must have regard in particular to:
a) The ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child concerned (considered in light of his age and understanding);
b) His physical, emotional and / or educational needs;
c) The likely effect on him of any change in his circumstances;
d) His age, [censored], background and any characteristics of his, which the court considers relevant;
e) Any harm which he has suffered or is at risk of suffering;
f) How capable each of his parents and any other person in relation to whom the court considers the question to be relevant, is of meeting his needs;
g) The range of powers available to the court under the Children Act 1989 in the proceedings in question.
For all proceedings under the Children Act 1989 when the court considers a question of the child's upbringing the child's welfare is the court's paramount consideration.
If you have any further questions please contact us via our webchat facility. The link to our webchat is http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/index.php?page=web_chat.
Yours sincerely,
Coram Children’s Legal Centre.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
