[Solved] School, Custody and what I can do

Hi rik

Whist the moves and disruptive schooling are worrying I'm not sure a court would think it bad enough to grant you residency. I do think you might be successful with a PSO though. Do you live locally to your daughter?... if she were to live with you would that allow her to remain at her current school?

You mention that you almost got the mothers agreement for your daughter to live with you, what if you offered to make up the shortfall of the money she would lose so that she isn't financially worse off! I know that sounds bizarre but if you could afford to do this for say six months, you could then apply for residency and because your daughter has lived with you for a period of time and would be settled etc you would probably be granted residency....you could then stop the payments. Just a thought...

Thanks for your response.

I would look to relocate closer to her mother and her school before anything is changed in order to lessen any disruption that may occur.

I did, a year ago it was basically a done deal but there was nothing done her side once I'd already sorted everything with work and looked at schools ETC. I could potentially afford to offer her support for a few months as my expenses wouldn't likely increase that much as I already buy more than I probably should on top of the 15% of my income that she gets already. My daughter doesn't bring anything here either as she has a full wardrobe at my place.

I'll definitely put that idea to her mother and see what she things. She's just gone through a relationship breakdown (2nd in 2 years) which is why she's moved back home but I want to make sure my daughter isn't uprooted again. This is getting silly now. How is she meant to make friends and have security if she's always being moved about?

Definitely look into that above. Thanks.

Also, I have the school form here on my laptop, emailed it yesterday and still no info. Term starts on MONDAY and there's no time to mess about with this stuff. I need her new address and some more info. Not even had that back.

She is not providing a stable home life for your daughter.

The problem is for the Courts to consider your residence application, it would have been great if you got a picture of her bedroom. Is your daughter, clean and tidy, have there been any problems at school.

On the other hand, what you are saying tells me that its a wonder if Social Services haven't been contacted. They most certainly consider all this moving, changing schools etc does not provide a stable home life for the child, it is a form of abuse, as is the state of her bedroom as you are aware of it.

The school are under a duty to express their concerns to SS too and the absences from school are a good reason!

You do have the opportunity of approaching Social Services and expressing your concerns to them,.and if you fear for your daughter, you should, you do run the risk of them being involved with the family, there are fors and againsts.

I think I like NJs suggestion of making up the finances though :woohoo:

Thank you so much. I wasn't aware that it was that bad as to be a form of abuse!!! I wish I could have got a picture of that room!

My daughter is generally clean and tidy when she's here. Her room is immaculate and we spend a lot of time putting all her stuff back in it's place.

I have also been informed this morning that my ex's house has nothing in it at all yet she's "moved" in. Will be staying in her Mother's very small flat with 2 kids and her brother (2 bed, very small flat)?!

Granted, At the moment I've been forced to live at my parent's house for a few months but My daughter has a room here and so do I. There is plenty of space, 2 big gardens and my parents are hardly here when I'm off work / when Mollie is here for weekends so it works out OK until I can find a new place.

However, Involving the SS would be a great idea if my ex wasn't so volatile. I have left them out so far due to the sheer fear that she'll just up and [censored] off somewhere further just to spite me.

The last time her OWN SISTER called them it was to express concerns and she managed to totally dodge everything.

I'm at a loss as to what to do really as if I involve the SS my ex will likely start trying to threaten me / make life horrible for myself and my daughter. She seems to think that she does nothing wrong and is the perfect mother.

So perfect that she was one hour late home in time for me to drop my daughter off last week so she could upgrade her phone. Waited outside for about an hour, I was ready to bring her home with me for another week and there she popped up happy as a pig in [censored]. I mean, seriously?! Why no phone call? COuld have met her in town if she was there. Her place is a 40 min walk from train station. Sorry, was, she's moved now, AGain.

I really don't know what I can do. I feel like if I involve the SS it'll cause more issues than it solves. I will pitch the other idea to her first and see how this new place is kept too. I need to do something. My daughter doesn't stop talking about living with me.

Another worry is having to change her school again IF I can't move into their area. The local council say I don't qualify for their re-housing scheme as my "community connection" isn't valid... EH? That's my daughter!

I'd have to rent private and although I earn a good wage I can't afford it after the 15% going to my ex and all HER debt i'm STILL paying 4 years on.

So far not even Salford council are any use so I guess I may have to stick here for a few extra months until I can get a deposit, eh?

Apologies for the off topic rant. heh.