[Solved] Second opinion - harassment claim!

I got arrested Sunday morning, with the claim of harassment. Taken to the police station, put in a cell ,interviewed and later charged. I am currently on unconditional bail.

The charge is harassment without violence. Basically, what is said is that I was texting her from December 1st 2010 to Jan 8th 2011. In doing so, I was causing, or should have known that I was causing harassment of her.

There were 68 messages in total. All of them revolving around Miles, things like, remember you've got him tonight, when do you want some clothes for the weekend for him, is Miles ok, Have you got Miles? I'm running late from work, any chance you could get him for me for a little while etc.

Now admittaly she didn't reply, but one of her friends or her mother would with the answer.

Went to court today, submitted a not guilty plea. I don't believe texting her about her own son, is harassment. None of the texts were threatening, or provoking violence, it was simply about Miles and her having him.

Court has been ajourned for two weeks, whilst the prosecution think about acquitting it. My defence laywer, who is costing me an arm and leg has suggested to the court that its a bit pointless really. No-one has ever told me I can't contact her (apart from her in one of her momements of rage), so I believed/believe that I need some contact with her for arrangements pertaining to Miles etc.

No date has been set for a trial and the prosecuter who was a junior ranked lawyer for the CPS didn't have the power to agree to anything.

I'm wondering, should I be concerned about this? My lawyer doesn't really think its much of an issue and if it did go to trial things would work out ok. I'm obviously very stressed about this and can only see it as a preamble to her applying for custody. Which I think she would do on fiancial grounds.

I'm not really sure if I have done wrong here.

I'm really worried about the situation and that it will paint me in a bad light for a custody battle if it does come. I'm not confident about how that would go, owing to her having his half siblings and being the Mother.

I am on Miles' birth certificate and she has accepted in written statements that he lives with me and she even said I have full PR. But do I?

Any advice would be very gratefully recieved!

Thank you... sorry its a bit long winded. In actual fact, its only a scratch on whats being going on. Some of it pretty horrific in her attitude to her own son. I've never stopped her from seeing Miles, in fact, I'm encouraging it. Spent the last year or so, trying to get it so she would have regular contact with him. Now I'm worried I'm going to loose him. I don't want access, things are great as they are. If only she would stick to her side of the agreement!

Hi Jonathan

I think that your ex is somewhat confused, and getting back at you. I'm surprised that the CPS saw fit to prosecute, but I would say that your solicitor is the best person to give advice on this.

However, with regards to any attempt to gain custody by your ex, in my opinion, her chances of success are very low. A court's primary concern is for the welfare of the child, and Miles is obviously settled with you, and the court would have to have a compelling reason to remove him, and I can't see that there is any reason at all - even if the CPS do prosecute and you were found guilty, it still doesn't mean that there's a reason to remove Miles.

My advice is to keep (and transcribe if necessary) any texts you still have on your phone and write a diary of events (the sooner the better, as events are still fresh). The only issue I can see is contact between Miles and his brothers - both for any court case, and for Miles and his brothers wellbeing, so I would consider coming up with some plan to allow contact on a regular basis between them all.

Assuming your solicitor is only representing you on the criminal aspect, then it's worth having a word with the Childrens Legal Centre about any potential custody matters.

Thanks for the reply Actd.

I have one of these so called 'smart phones' one of the benefits is that it backs itself up to the internet most nights, so every text message I send or recieved is stored. So I can provide a complete log of whats said, or maybe as importantly whats not.

To be honest, regarding custody its never been an issue untill very recently. She found it fit to text my mother stating that she was applying for custody one weekend when she had Miles and that I wasn't getting him back! As per usual, he got dumped off at my door the next day - I didn't even challenge her over the text.

I am glad about your comments regarding being found guilty and it not really effecting the current status quo, I was hoping that would be the case but its always good to get a second opinion.

Court is currently in recess, whilst the prosecution goes back and decides what they actually want to do, so I have to report back in two weeks time. At that point, I will be acquitted, or it will go to trial. I'm hoping of the former, but confident of the outcome if it goes to trial. The thought of airing all my dirty laundry in public doesn't really excite me too much.

I am however concerned about the effect that this is having on Miles, whilst obviously trying to minimise the effects on him, this is unfortunately the 4th time she has made up a charge and got me arrested. There was never a charge but its getting beyond a joke. And to be frank, I have seen enough police cells to last me a lifetime and its really stressing me out!! Plus its not the best enviroment for Miles really, the poor kid doesn't know if he is coming or going regardiing to seeing his Mum and brothers. He's started calling her Christine now, not Mum.

My solicitor is only representing me for the criminal case. Whilst I obviously don't want her to have custody for many reasons, not all being selfish i.e missing him, I do want her to have a regular percsribed access agreement. Can I not sure if this is the word, but force her to have him on certain days so she might actually stick to it?

Thanks again.

Oh for a simple life!!

If this is the fourth time - I'd be asking your solicitor about whether there is any action you can take against her, or whether you can make a complaint against the police.

If you get a contact order for your ex to have contact, unfortunately it can be frustrating as the court can't and won't force her to see your son, but does compell you to make your son available for contact. I would suggest that you go for a quite restrictive contact order, but with an agreement that if contact does go well for a period of time, then you will agree to more regular contact - the idea is to try to get all eventualities covered in the initial contact order, so you don't have to go back to court later on for a variation. Avoids a lot of time, effort and cost if you can do this.