[Solved] Seeing my daughter

Hi Dan,

welcome and sorry to hear of your circumstances.

It is unusual to say that social services would be in touch. They are being difficult for some reason (are they planning a holiday or something)?

Being naughty is not a reason for social services to get in touch. You have a few options.
1) Ascertain which social services, if you live in the same borough - then contact the local one and find out if any reports have been made. As a parent with PR you are entitled to as much info as your other half is.
2) Also with joint PR you can go to the doctors and request any medical info from the records
3) Consider mediation...there are a few links on this website
4) Put in a c100 form into the courts to fix the time you previously had....you may even ask for more or a residence order asking for you to be involved in decision making.

Good luck

Hi Dan,

This is absurd! Social services would certainly stop contact with a parent when there were serious safeguarding issues, risk of serious harm....a little girl being naughty before or after contact would not be something they would even look at! Had they approached the SS with this they would have been told it was not a matter for their involvement.

The first step would be to try mediation. This is where you would attend and speak to a mediator about the issues you need help with. The mediator would then invite the other parent to attend, then after that a meeting where you would both attend and with the guidance of the mediator, hopefully reach an agreement. Here's a link

www.nfm.org.uk

There is a charge for mediation but legal aid is also available for some and you can check your eligibility here

www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid

If this is unsuccessful then the next step would be court. There are many dads that chose to self represent and it is very doable. There is lots of information about this at the top of the Legal Eagle section that you might like to have a look at.

I think it's strange that communication is by text (ie can be proved what was said) except where there was a mention that social services were involved, in which case is was a verbal conversation (ie, no evidence of what was said). I have doubts whether they have even contacted SS - I wonder whether you should write to your ex requesting an explanation in writing/email.

Hi,

Many thanks for the responses. They have all helped. I thought about all of the above and intend to be straight on the phone 1st thing Monday morning. I am going to ask for a full explanation from her via e-mail. I'm not sure whether I should stop the maintenance payments until this has been sorted. What do people think.

Before the move there was never any talk of my contact stopping. It's only now this has happened. I spoke to my daughter and my ex on the phone last weds and everything seemed normal.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

It would be unwise to stop payments as contact and maintenance are two entirely separate issues. Paying maintenance does not entitle a parent to contact. If it was a private arrangement between the two of you and you stopped it would put further strain on your relationship....this is just my opinion.

If you pay maintenance through the CSA and stopped the payments they would not accept suspension of contact as a reason for withholding payment, and if someone were to do this they would accrue arrears

Agreed - never stop payments, otherwise you may risk allegations that your not paying and do not care for your child.

Call social services children service team, like the other posts, I feel they are chancing their arm and its not true.

Good luck!

Hi,

Since my previous post, my situation has improved slightly. I have now got contact back, but its all being controlled by my ex. I see my daughter for a couple of hours every 2 weeks. It is always at her house and for some reason my ex does not allow me to take her out. I literally sit in their living room playing with my daughter. I've tried talking to my ex, but there is never the right time as it would be a long and heated conversation which I do not want to do in front of my daughter.

With regards to social services, this never materialised into anything. They didn't take the case any further. They made the decision in October last year, but they I didn't find out till January of this year.

With regards to contact, I know I can go through mediation, but I don't think my ex would attend plus its not legally binding. She is the sort of person who would stop contact again.

I feel that the court option is my only route as any decision is legally binding, but I know it can make things messy and not a nice experience for my daughter.

I would appreciate any advice available.

Thanks

Dan

Hi Dan

The Children and Families Act 2014 came into force on April 22nd which makes mediation compulsory before any court proceedings can take place. You would now be applying for a Child Arrangements Order instead of a Contact Order.

Funding is still available for Mediation and you can check eligibility here

www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid

Hi,

Thanks for all your advice. An update on my position since my last thread was hat I attended an initial meeting with a mediator last week. They have since written to my ex and she has stated that she does not wish to attend mediation as she is happy with the arrangement we have (I certainly am not).

It looks like I am left with no option to go through the court to get a child arrangement order. Is there any advice on going through the court process with the use of a solicitor.

I hope someone can help

Hi there

Here's a link that explains how the new process is supposed to work

www.justice.gov.uk/downloads/family-justice-reform/pd-12b-cap.pdf

Check out the stickys at the top of the Legal Eagle section, you will find some links to videos and information about the court process.