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My wife has said that she wants a separation, she has not been very clear about the reasons and it has been very difficult to come to terms with because of this. We have two boys and live in rented accommodation, no savings, no debt and we both work (although my wife is only just starting a new contract - so it's not clear yet how long this will be for).
When we separate I expect that the children will reside with her though they will need to move home because our present home is too expensive to rent. I am aware that I will need to pay child maintenance but not sure about what else I am liable for or expected to contribute.
I want the best for my boys; I will support them, see them as often as I can and keep things civil with my wife for their sakes. However, I do not think it would be fair for my wife to expect any more financial support than child maintenance from me given the circumstances.... She has asked me to leave; something I did not want to happen, I wanted to work at it, go to councelling etc. to try and resolve matters but she seems pretty firm in her decision. Would I be expected to pay spousal maintenance or any other monies given this situation?
There are no grounds for divorce (certainly not from her side, anyway) so I suspect we will have to live separated for 2 years before she could petition and a divorce could be finalised. What happens in this period, e.g. if she, or I meet someone else would it be classed as infidelity?
Sorry for asking multiple questions, as you might expect I am a little shell shocked and playing catch-up..... I don't really know very much about separations and did not really expect to be in the midst of one after 15 years of marriage. I'm hoping someone out there will know the answers, what my rights are and where I stand.
Hi
Sorry to hear you are going through this, it's sadly too common these days.
You will be expected to pay child maintenance - the basic CSA calculation is 20% of your takehome pay for 2 children, less reasonable expenses for visiting your children (you are expected to pay the first £15 per week if I recall before you start deducting) assuming to special cases. You don't have to use the CSA of you both come to an agreement - the CSA is there really as a last resort.
I'm not so sure about spousal maintenance, especially since you don't have a home which the court can allocate to your wife to provide a home for the children. The court will certainly expect her to work if she is able, so she can't suddenly decide that she's going to give up work and expect you to support her.
You may be best contacting the Citizens Advice Bureau to see if you can get some free advice. I know it's difficult at the moment, but if you and your wife are able to come to some amicable agreement first, it could save you both a lot of money in legal fees - bearing in mind divorces usually costs in the thousands of pounds, compromising to some extent may be difficult, but cheaper in the long run. If you really do want to see a solicitor, you can often get an initial consultation free of charge if you ask, and may give you an idea of what is involved.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
