Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: We are not open to new posts at this time
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hello all.
So i have my final hearing next week, i am going for shared residence and a equal time split.
I have spoke to my sisters friend who is a solicitor (even though i'm self representing) and he has told me concentrate on what is best for our son rather than what i want. Which is sound advice. Wish i had input from him earlier... oh well least i have now 😉
briefly so far:
My son is 5 and we used to share his time where we both got to see him or have him to sleep every other day which worked well. before school started last year his mother cut my contact time with him to 6 hours a week and every other weekend to stay over. Ive been to court 4 times now and been offered tue and thurs overnight which she agreed to but i disagreed, now in her final statement she disagrees to tue and thurs overnight! this is just like her to agree then disagree.
What i want to lay out is half a week split time
:
Monday - her
Tuesday - her
Wednesday – her and i will pick up from School
Thursday - me
Friday - me
Saturday – me until 2
Sunday – her
This i would like to alternate as my son enjoys going to the car boot sale every Sunday with me to spend his pocket money, where this is not possible with his mum as she has no car. But he enjoys it and looks forward to spending his own money.
Do you think the court would go for this?
Ive been involved in all his life and have never let him down, Payed for things he needs and shared all schooling costs. I strive to be the best dad i can but what has worked for you in shared time split, my son is used to shared time split so therefore would not upset or harm him.....
cannot wait till court is done just want our life back.
Peace out,
Thanks
DAD-POWER 😉
Hello Joe
What you're actually asking for is a shared care agreement, as opposed to shared residence.
As long as you both live in close proximity to one another then school won't be a problem and as you say, he is used to this 50/50 arrangement already so you could argue that he will settle back into this routine easily, without it causing him any disruption.
Concentrate on letting the judge know how close you are and how the recent cut in contact has impacted on him.
As your friends solicitor says, it's all about what's best for your son.
Hi, thanks, So whats the difference between shared care agreement and shared residence.
Sound advice, cheers 😉
So do you think a judge would do 50/50?
Now prepping for the cross examination of social worker!!
oh the joys....
Shared care agreements are a 50/50 split which is what you are requesting. Shared residence doesn't mean an equal sharing of time with each parent.
Do I think a judge would do a 50/50?
Debatable, it depends largely on the judge on the day. Look for case law that will back a 50/50 split. I've read that shared care agreements are more likely where the parents show co-operation in parenting, and can demonstrate working together for the benefit of the arrangement and the child.
Out of interest then NJ - most of us on this site are quite the opposite LOL. In cases of high conflict - any suggestions from anyone would be gratefully received as to what may be the best form of contact arrangement to minimise direct contact from the parents.
BW
Well lets hope i can get a understanding judge then 😉
Cant wait until this is all over!
Its been great during the summer holidays where ive had him every other day stop over .... he'll be going back to school in 3 days when my time is back to 6 hours a week ;-(
fingers crossed
Thanks for the info 😉
i went through the same thing.
i went for shared residence first, then for the extra time.
18 months - in and out of court requesting and getting more time each time.
my ex asking for extra time as she takes our daughter(12) to visit my family (2 hours a time twice a year).
i asked her (inifront of the judge), not to visit my family as that was my job.
visiting her family is her job.
it was nice seeing the judge putting her stright.
i ended up having 3 days one week and 4 days the next, after 4 months "she" complained.
i now have 1 week each, drop off at school monday morning, the other collects 3pm and has the child untill the following monday at school start.
she has christmas day(half sisters at home), i have boxing day, and birthdays.
we borrow and pay back holidays, and days when family stay over.
for the first 6 years my daughter only took with her the clothes she was stud up in, my exes idea as she kept everything when we split.
now i have the ds games console, plastation, TVs +DVD players, scooter, bikes - you get the idea.
the judge can seem to be a friend, nothing like the mediator.
we borrow and pay back holidays, and days when family stay over.
That sounds like you have it very well sorted 🙂
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
