Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: We are not open to new posts at this time
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
my ex and I divorced last year and I pay £39 pw through the CSA. I cant afford a lawyer I'm not eligible for legal aid and she refuses to got to a mediation.
She has re married and wont let me see my child and if she does its only with her and I feel she wont let me talk with my child, and turns it more in to a "date" I left her 3 years ago but only because the marriage wasn't working. She says I'm only angry because my daughter calls her new husband Daddy.
What can I do? please help!
Hi
First off, reason you left your ex is irrelevant - it's in the past and has (or should have) no bearing on contact.
The figure you are paying for maintenance suggests a low income so I'm surprised that you aren't eligible for legal aid, may be worth re-checking.
In any event, you can represent yourself in court so it's a matter of filling in the necessary form - normally, it's best if you have been to mediation first, but if she is refusing, then you need to start proceedings to get contact. It may be worth trying one more shot at mediation in writing to see if she is willing - possibly telling her that you are trying to avoid the necessity to go to court for a contact order - keep any correspondence (both sides), and remain calm in all your dealings with her. You certainly want contact with her not their - a contact centre may be the best way to go initially, unless there is someone who you both trust who will assist.
Certainly speak to the Childrens Legal Centre to help with your options.
Hi Vic82
Welcome to the Dadtalk forum. I'm glad you've got in touch with us and I hope you are going to find the site helpful to you.
Your situation is, sadly, very similar to many dads and so I am setting out the advice previously given by the Childrens Legal Centre and I hope it will be of use to you and answer your questions.
There are ways which you can gain a set amount contact with your daughter. The first option that you should consider is that of family mediation, I know so far your ex has refused but it may be worth trying again. Most parents who apply to court for a contact order try mediation first. The courts generally like to see that the parents have attempted to resolve the problems themselves. In many instances, legal aid will only be granted where mediation has been tried. National Family Mediation ( www.nfm.org.uk ) offer a nationwide service and can be contacted directly for more information regarding this option.
If mediation is unsuccessful or your ex-partner refuses to attend then you have the option of making an application to court for a contact order. A contact order is an order made by the court under s.8 Children Act 1989. The order makes clear who shall have contact with the child, how often this will be and how long the contact will be for.
Going to court can be a stressful and expensive experience. It is a 'last resort'. Before making an application for an order parents should seek legal advice. It is possible for a parent to make an application themselves, but there are advantages to being represented by a solicitor. A solicitor will know and understand the process and procedures and can help reach agreements.
The court must only make an order where they consider it would be better for the child to do so rather than making no order at all. To make an application to the court you can either use a solicitor or alternatively act for yourself as a litigant in person.
It may be possible that you qualify for legal aid and therefore will be able to use a solicitor free of charge. To determine whether or not you qualify for legal aid please follow the link to a legal aid eligibility calculator: http://www.communitylegaladvice.org.uk/ ... ution=e1s3.
If you are going to act for yourself because you do not qualify for legal aid then an application to the court can be made by filling out a C100 form and sending it to the court. You can obtain the C100 form by visiting the Her Majesty's Court Service website ( www.hmcs.gov.uk ) or alternatively you can visit your local county court to collect the form. There is an application fee of £175 if you do not qualify for legal aid. Once the form has been completed you should return it to the court with the fee. The parties involved will receive a date on which to attend court.
The court will make a decision regarding what contact to allow based on what is considered to be in your children's best interests.
If a contact order is put in place then your ex-partner cannot override this. Your ex-partner will be bound to follow the order and there are penalties for breach of a contact order.
For further clarification regarding this issue or any other issue of child law then please do not hesitate to contact the Child Law Advice Line on 08088 020 008.
I hope this is helpful to you.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
