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Hi, I seperated from my wife about 5 months ago. After initial assurances that I would have regular contact with our daughter, things quickly deteriorated. She offered me a couple of hours once a fortnight, i said that was not enough and suggested mediation. We began mediation when we both lived in the south west, but both had to leave and move back up north before we had chance to attend the first joint meeting.
She has since filed for divorce, which ive not contested. My main concern is contact with my daughter. At present I am sending books with cds and dvds with me reading the books on them. I am restricted to one phone call on a sunday afternoon to talk to my daughter, Ive not seen her for nearly 5 months.
I was our daughters primary carer for the first 4 years of her life and we were extremely close. Ive now not seen her for almost 5 months, which has been traumatic. Im denied contact because my ex has expressed concerns over my daughters safety while with me. This is completely fabricated and seems ironic as i was often labelled 'over protective' while i was caring for her.
I feel ive been too passive but im trying to do things by the book and am terrified of doing or saying anything to jeapordise future contact with my girl.
To the present day: Ive attended my initial assessment with a mediator up here and so has my ex. Today I received a mail inviting me to a shuttle mediation appointment. I havent been violent or abusive, so i dont know why my ex is requesting shuttle mediation. I must say part of me is happy not to have to see her as im sure it will be emotional for me. On the other hand i am panicking, wondering if shes plotting something. In retrospect I think i may have been naive, expecting my ex to be the reasonable person i remember her to be when in reality she has been increasingly unreasonable and I fear she may try and restrict contact completely.
Any advice or experiences with shuttle mediation or mediation in general would be much appreciated. I understand i dont have rights as such, just parental responsibility?
Kind regards
I've not had experience of mediation, but if it's not sorted out quickly to the extent that you are getting some level of contact, then I would make it clear to the mediators that unless there is a quick resolution, then you would wish to go for a contact order (read yoji's guide to representing yourself - top of the legal eagle section) and apply of an interim order to resume contact as quickly as possible.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
