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Hi Im not sure if this is the right place for this. I am looking for advice on what the court may do. This is a brief history last year my ex moved out whilst pregnant, she went straight to a womens refuge and stated dv, which I have denied, as it was her who was the abuser mentally and verbally to myself and my kids who were from my late wife so they live with me, 5 weeks ago she got evicted from the refuge she claims it happened at 0430 in the morning but she had a new born and 4 other children so I am reluctant to believe they would do that,a week after she got evicted we were suppose to have a directions hearing however due to her moving back to this area it was adjourned and she was issued with a court order with a penal notice attached, also the solicitor she was using didnt even know she had gone and cafcass have tried to contact her even making a time but she doesnt answer her phone so the report is only half done, her half of the report will be done by the local cafcass in my area , I received the report and at present they cannot see any reason why contact should not occur, in the last few weeks i have been able to see my son 4 times for a hour at her place of residence, however she has consistantly continued her verbal abuse by text saying in a nutshell if i take her to court she will stop all contact and also stop me going on the birth certificate and she says she will state the dv to the court, my problem is i dont trust her as she has done this to other fathers who dont have anything to do with there kids till there older.
My questions are
would cafcass speak to me again as she has continued her abuse
what may the court do if she makes these clams dv even thou I have been round hers 4 times in the last 5 weeks.
Would the court disadvantage me as i informed cafcass I suffered the mental abuse and verbal towards me and my children, she basically treated them like dirt, I didnt do anything as I was suffering depression which by the time she left I was diagnosed with severe depression in which I received counseling and I also have one of my sons in the process of receiving counsiling to
Hi there,
The courts are very good at seeing through lies and ex's often claim DV to get what they want. Make sure you keep ALL txt's both sent and recieved as this will help build a picture of what has been happening.
I would imagine that the fact you have been going around to see her and go to hers over the past few weeks would go in your favour as it doesn't smack of DV if she has allowed you to go around.
GTTS
Hi and thanks, my solicitor is also very curious of why she is allowing me round there, she is also curious why a penal notice was attached to the court order, what will the new court think of this order? and my solicitor did inform me today that her old solicitor is sending mine a letter but she is unsure what it is about as her old solicitor wasnt representing her
Apply for parental responsibility yourself!! Don't be held to ransom by her. She is obviously very experienced in all of those so refuse to be drawn in by her games. I know you are likely happy to see your son but you need to stop going around to hers. This leaves you open to many false allegations. Ask to meet in a public place. I can't stress how important it is that you don't fall for blackmail. She will most likely screw you over. You will get contact so just do it by the courts.
If your ex is allowing you contact round her place, I don't see how she can allege DV however as has already been suggested, contact in a public place would be much better for you. She could make up things for the last few weeks. I strongly support that suggestion. Do not give in her to blackmail!
The Courts are pretty good at seeing through lies too:)
Oh and a refuge would not throw you out I am pretty sure, (unless she did something to put the refuge at risk I guess) and certainly not at some ungodly hour,
It is quite normal now to put a penal notice on a contact order. I find it odd your Solicitor does not understand why! Or do you mean your ex does not understand why there is a penal notice? ...Anyway the answer is the same, it is normal to attach a penal notice to the contact order now.
At the end of the day, if your ex does not put your name on the Birth Certificate, you can always apply for a Parental Responsibility Order.
And no you will not be disadvantaged because you told CAFCAS you had depression...and your child is receiving counselling...in fact that will more than likely go against her!
Hi well got the directions hearing on the 5 august ,hoping it will go ok, to answer why my solicitor didnt understand why a penal notice was attached it was more to do with it being the first hearing ie directions. My ex was served the papers today, and so far havent had any backlash from her, although I am expecting it, ie she will stop contact till the court hearing, she has said that she is going to ask for supervised contact at a centre, but only for me, as she knows I have 4 young children myself and they will have to come with me, which I find unfair and not nice for my children, and claim dv if I carry on with going to court, but I feel I must as cant have her controling everything again.
I have a new question, if she does state dv and asks for supervised , then who supervises her as she was the one who was abusive, to me it would appear that her allegations are more important (so to speak) than mine ?
Is there any evidence to either your allegations of DV or hers, Police etc?
If she was the violent one did any of your children witness it.
How old are your children, could they be credible witness to support your alegations?
Regards,
Dave
Hi, no there isnt any police or anything to support either, the only thing I have is my depresion and the counsiling I had after she left. My children are old enough however the one she was really abusive to is only 7 and has learning difficulties and doesnt remember any of it, all he remembers is he hates her.
Her children on the other hand are older and they will lie and manipulate as thats what my ex does., she has done this to most of the other dads, keeps them out of the way unless theres something in it for her
Hi thought I would do a update, attended court today however ex never turned up even thou she had a court order with a penal notice, its now ajourned again but this time the judge has stated the court order must stipulate non attendence will not be tolerated and if she doesnt attend it will be forwarded, onto a district judge, a contact order will be made in her absence and she will be liable for all costs on my part. Hopefully she will take this more seriously but Im not sure if she will, there was even talk of commital which I said I didnt really want.
Considering the way she has treated you and your children I think you are being really tolerant not wanting committal...still I guess she is the mother of your child.
Because she didn't turn up she has angered the court, they will not look favourably on her and it will prove to be advantageous for you.
Hi Thats what my solicitor has said and she also says because of her not attending they wont take to kindly her false allegations either, as she informed me that cafcass have tried several times now to get hold of ex but still no reply. Hopefully it wont take to long for next hearing, the judge did say something about 14 days so hopefully will be quick
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