[Solved] Spousal maintenance

She can request if your still married - but if your equally providing care for your children (or thereabouts) and she is of a similar position to work and earning capacity then should be her look out.

....be careful she may use the children as leverage

with regards

The plot thickens.
While trying to agree an equity split on the house my ex wants me to have a share of what the house is worth now but not get it until the house is sold which could be up to 6 years away as she wants it to be the kids home until they are 18.
My understanding is I get a percentage split based on what the house is worth when it's sold whether that is tomorrow or next year.
Some one please correct me if I'm wrong.

Women do not get it all their own way. Has she ever worked? If so she can get a job. Generally now the only reason a woman gets spousal maintenance is if they retrain, divorce for women is no longer the cash cow it used to be.

You get a percentage of what the house is worth when sold!!

Seem she is trying to get it all ways!

Thanks for the reply.
Yes she has worked.
I am offering to pay off our debts out of my share of the equity along with a share in my pension so I think 50/50 split is pretty fair. She aslo has a small inheritance which I won't make a claim on.
Starting to think I am being soft.

Just something to throw in to the mix - whatever you offer, she may take that as a starting point and try to get more. I would go for an equal split of the house and I would exclude the value of your pension to the value of her inheritance. Then she can take that as a starting point an you can make concessions to the point that you are happy with.

I'm paying her an agreed amount of child maintenance worked out using CSA rules (but the CSA is not involved) and I have not taken anything off for the 3 nights that my son lives with me.
I am also paying for half the cost of school uniforms/activities/meals for both my kids.
My daughter plays a musical instrument which recently needed repairing which I paid for and asked my ex for half and she called me a parasite!
I work overtime so I think paying for extras for school and not taking anything off for the 3 nights I have my son is a fair balance.
I am actually considering contacting the CSA and pay what ever they think is fair, I'd like to know people's thoughts on the CSA.

I do how ever like to contribute by way of paying for school stuff etc and it also means I don't give my ex the money, if I went through the CSA I would not contribute in the way I do now so it is a bit of a dilemma as it makes me feel more involved.

Thinking long term, would it be better to make one fair payment and make it clear that it is for all things or continue to pay her the minimum plus extras.
I have 6-8 years ahead of me and don't really want to be arguing for that time, I am sure lots of people on here have been through similar circumstances so any guidance is appreciated

It all comes down to whether you want to make an issue of it, and whether, even if you are paying more than you need to, your ex will call you names anyway, in which case you may as well pay the minimum and be called names, rather than pay over the odds for the same privilege.

There is nothing to stop you from paying through the CSA, but still paying extra for uniforms etc directly to your ex - that's entirely up to you. Personally, in your position, I would do exactly that, and if you feel you should pay more, put it into a saving account for your children for when they are older - and you can tell them you are doing that, which will make anything your ex says about you a lot less effective.

Hold up, are the debts joint? Sorry but they should be paid for jointly.

The maintenance you pay covers all school stuff, uniforms etc although I do understand your reasoning behind wanting to contribute and good on you too. But don't forget she is getting allsorts in benefits.

As she has worked previously, she will be expected to go out to work again!! You are being a "little soft" don't let her have it all her own way !!

And actd is right, you will be called names whatever! and as to she may take the offer as a starting point.

Have you a actually sat down and worked out the figures and the pension yourself for your own info?

I've contacted the CSA, not sure if I want to get them involved but I really don't want the jibes. If I go down the CSA road then I will be able to make perfectly clear that she won't be getting extras.
And yes it's about time she got a job, she's been blaming my shifts for years for not being able to get a job, like I'm the only person who works shifts.

well here I go again,
I have filled in Form E voluntary as we are doing a mutual exchange in which I am not using my solicitor and she is using hers, I could not afford what I was quoted so I had to do it myself.
I was totally honest because I firmly believe that if I do things correctly and need to argue my point covering anything up will make matters worse, that being said I ain't got much!
Bizarrely when I worked out how much I need to live on it came to my average yearly earnings, she will obviously think I have done that on purpose but I did not.
Ironically my last 3 payslips have all had overtime which is not the norm so I expect her to pounce on that, I have given a true and realistic figure of what I expect to earn over the next 12 months so we'll see.
I work annualised hours so my wage is very complicated to work out, I could work 3 months solid overtime then the next 3 moths my extra hours could be banked and I either get the money at the end of the financial year or I get extra time off.
We have settled on 60-40 on the house in favour of her so far with a clean break, she is being vague on my pension so I will have to see what she pushes on. She wants the 60-40 split to be based on what the house is worth now and not it's final sale value which I am not sure about, she says that because I am not contributing to the mortgage that I should not benefit from future price rises. Sort of agree because I argued it should be sale value less what she has personally paid in repayments. I will be noting that falling into areas or only paying interest will cancel her terms .
Not really sure where I go from here.