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I suppose the title says it all really but to give some background:
Divorced, as part of the divorce we agreed my access times (every wednesday for dinner after school, 1 weekend every friday evening overnight until saturday tea tme 2nd weekend friday night, saturday night going back sunday morning).
The mother now wants to change the agreement so that I now only get access every other weekend for the full weekend.
I am not in agreement with this as I believe that seeing my daughter every weekend helps maintain our relationship.
Could someone please advise where I stand with this legally. My feeling is that access has been agreed as part of the divorce and therefore to some extent concrete. However, I understand that the law is not kind to fathers. If I contest this through the courts is there a risk I would loose out on access (i.e. get less than what she is offering)
Is there anything I can do to preserve my current access?
Any help or advice gretly appreciated
Not sure about what happens to agreements made in a divorce (never maried my ex luckily!) but if you have a contact order then she cannot change it without going back to court to have it amended.
Having said that there are a few other posts on ex's changing contact as and when they feel like it...do a search down the legal section...simply put they can't do what they like, change or prevent contact but try stopping them doing what they want and you'll quickly realise that they will try and try until courts tell them to stop being unreasonable.....or they may just keep ignoring court orders like my ex!
But if you see her every weekend when is your ex meant to spend quality time with your daughter? Cant you have her overnight every Wednesday and do alternate weekends? Say Fri to Monday AM?
The divorce agreement is legally binding. It is open to your ex to get the agreement varied by a court, but in reality, what she is doing is breaking the agreement, so you need to get the order enforced, or go back for a new contact order. The courts generally don't like to reduce the level of contact a father has without a good reason, so going for a contact order shouldn't be too worrying. However, at the stage you are at, I would suggest that you consider whether anything could be gained by mediation in the first instance. Try www.nfm.org.uk
But if you see her every weekend when is your ex meant to spend quality time with your daughter? Cant you have her overnight every Wednesday and do alternate weekends? Say Fri to Monday AM?
Would love to have my daughter overnight during week but I travel alot with work so its not a possibility really (if I want to keep my job) as can't commit to the time. And yes I totally agree that quality time should be shared and I have never stood in the way of trips/weekends away etc after all it is my daughters happiness which is the most important thing and I would despair if my daughther thought my intentions were otherwise.
Only my flexibility is not reciprocated and ex goes out of the way to be hostile to any requests and feels the need to be dishing out the orders regardless of any upset she causes. Hence the current venture to take time from me. She does'nt seem to get it that if she ever decided to be easy going it would be better for everyone. I wish I could get her into mediation but she cant see past her own divisive nature. Its the way she is. What I am saying is that I would happily give up time she wants now and again upon reciprocation but the way she is at the moment, I'm concerned that any regular concession I gave she would take to her solicitor as evidence that the access had already changed. Would that be the case????
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