[Solved] Starting the whole process

Hi There,

I would say that you do have rights to see your daughter you have been providing for her and although not on the birth certificate you are her father (sounded all Starwars then :whistle: )

It is possible that the CSA will look to gain back payments for your daughter and I would contact them and ask them where you stand, give them all the details and see what they say.

I wouldn't raise the fruad if it where me, I would play a fair game and if it comes to light naturally then so be it sometimes mud slinging can harm your cause as it seems like you are trying to cloud the water to get your own way.

I would suggest that mediation may be the first way to try to resolve your differences and gain some good access to your daughter, It may seem like a waste of time but can work, and even if it doesn't it will show the courts you have tried to resolve the issues yourself without their input.

Darren

Thanks alot for your reply, its been hard for the last ten years my ex is not a bad mother but lately everything say says is contradictory. She has three children by three fathers (the last of whom she is married to) this new child cannot do any wrong and my daughter is always in the wrong. The newest child runs the household and hits my daughter very regualarly. She often has scrams scratches and bruises on her arms, legs and face. But when she does anything thing back she is the one who gets the blame. I understand that you may think im being one sided, i can assure you that this is the tip of a very large iceberge. The partner has used violence against my ex (as far as im aware not reported) they both smoke, (again both have used cannabis but mainly the partner) and i just hate the fact that because i make the effort to see my daughter she is basically the black sheep of the family. If my daughter tells them about any activity that we have done she gets told not to brag, then the little sister starts ramming down her throat about what they did while she was away?? Also she gets told not to brag so everything i bought her stayed at my house, then i get asked why the things that i have bought her dont go home? The woman makes no sense. I dont want to go down the mud slinging road as i know ultimately that it is my daughter who will suffer, but already she has started the abuse, when all ive asked for is a peaceful resolution or official involvement. I wont go down the custody route as again i know my daughter loves her mum very much, but im getting close to exploding, ive been bitting my tounge for 10 years seen my baby in tears because of what they are putting her through.

That's a horrible situation and I'm not surprised your about to explode, use that explosive energy though to get things moving and talk to people like CSA and mediators to see if you can gain a good reselution to the issues, I would have a read of Yoji['s guide to apply for and representing yourself through the court process as an idea of what to expect in case you need to go through court, I would also keep all emails/txt exchanged between the 2 of in case it's needed or just as a reference point for the future.

If theres anything you need to know just as and one of us on here will either have experience or will be able to get the childrens legal team to comment (as long as you don't have your own solicitor that is)

Hope this helps.

Darren

Hi and welcome.

I will add to Darren's advice that the CSA will only go back as far as the date they were first asked to take the case - you could give them a ring to see if they have a case open, but otherwise, make sure any payments you make are through a bank and are clearly marked as child maintenance. The assessment will be for 15% of your takehome pay, if you pay more than this, that's entirely voluntary on your part.