[Solved] Stopping contact any advice?

what have children's services said about contact being stopped?

...My son has Residency and has also recently suspended contact. If there are sufficient grounds for this, and it is felt the child is at risk, then the court will not act upon any breach of the contact order. My son has kept the mothers solicitor and Social Services informed, and they said he was within his rights as the resident parent to stop contact if he considered his son was at risk. My son has applied to the court for a variance of contact and is asking for supervised contact and no overnight stays. He served the papers on her solicitor about 10 days ago, and we are due in court for the Directions Appointment on 13th March. When my son went to her solicitors and served her the papers, her solicitor counter served with an C79 Enforcement order!

The best of luck for court next week 🙂

Hi All,

Thanks Nannyjane was hoping you'd input some info! 😉

It was the social worker who "suggested" my partner "could" contact. I say suggested, she could not comment per se, but we read between the lines. She was protecting herself. We had official evidence which meant the suspension didn't come out from the blue. The child has been hugely effected by goings on recently - she finally opened up the SW tonight by telling the SW that basically her mum has been emotionally blackmailing her (she is 9) by saying "Don't tell or write anything bad about me, or else they will stop you from seeing me"....

SW told us on the qt that mother had been warned if her living conditions were not inproved within a week then contact would be suspended.....That came as a shock to us as we don't ever see her house, so to know it was THAT bad, was a shocker. The Guardian has started sniffing around ( a week prior to court and 5 months of nothing!!) she spoke to my partner the other day and he told her that he was stopping contact. Once the SW speaks to the Guardian tomorrow, I think we stand a better chance of getting contact reduced AND supervised. Social are in TOTAL agreement with us - suspended, pending hearing next week, then supervised thereafter.

I hope this does all come to fruition next week, as we've fought "flippin" hard to get someone to see the mother for what she is.... Hopefully the light at the end of an exceptionally Loooooooooooooooooong tunnel!! SW could not believe, given mother's back catalogue of "issues" that we are still in this position.

I suspect that mother's Sol will file something to say we are breaching order, but I am on the understanding that for issues around "abuse" you can stop contact. We have a statement of the child which corroborates everything we have said, we have the mothers contact with SW as evidence and we have the views and comments of the school/Guardian etc. I doesn't look good for the mum, but fingers crossed....

I've stopped contact in the past as soon as I applied to court for a variation to the order - my ex was made aware of the suspension of contact, and it was about 3 months before it got to court, so it was for a while, and I stopped it because my ex was being completely erratic about when she was bothering to come to contact, so there was no danger to my daughter. Even with that, the court said nothing at all to me about breaching the existing contact order - I think that, as long as the court sees that you are acting in the best interests of a child, and are not acting unreasonably (as opposed to stopping maliciously), the worst they are likely to do is tell you you shouldn't have done it, and at best, they won't even mention it.

Well....... had emailed copy of guardians position statement today...talk about last minute Larry (in court in 10hrs time!!). But FINALLY the guardian has seen sense and is going with the Social workers reccommendations: 2 weekly contact SUPERVISED for 12 weeks, to be reviewed. I hope and pray after ALL this time and money that FINALLY we'll have some kinda resolution. The Judge is rather set in his ways - so, hoping he does not do his usual and lay blame on both parents.

Will update when back from court (later today)..... My finger etc are VERY VERY crossed. Plus I have my trainers ready in case we have to leg it from the court! lol.... Could this be the "end" of FOUR YEARS worth of fighting for justice?.......

....fingers and toes crossed for you! 🙂

Update: Mother's barrister kicked off (after arriving over and hour late!) saying that because Mother was not informed of the SW's intention to make contact supervised, mother is contesting the matter. Back in court in March!!!!!!

Judge has NO idea as to how to proceed, but we have measures in the interim: Contact stopped, awaiting info from SW as see if this includes calls (she has missed 4 calls now), the SW to file recommendations and witness statement on matters which I think can only help us out as it will cooberate all we have said. Given the child opened up during wishes and feelings work to say mother was emotionally abusing her, we have all the supporting evidence we need. The guardian appears completely guided by the SW, which I hope helps us as it appears SW is on "our side" as she can see the wood for the trees!

Maybe not there yet then?.......

Hi makes you wonder if its ever going to end. But it does sound like sw are indeed fighting in your corner ...

Ak, Tof..it's never ending! the Social Worker I spoke to the other day about my sons case said that to me... its all about control and she said that its likey to go on for years!....Great eh, but she didnt tell me anything I didnt already suspect! 😡

When are you next in court Tof?

It sounds to me that you have the upper hand now....The truth usually comes out in the end and people like the mother in your case, ak's sons case, and my sons case show their true colours!

We shall overcome! Just keep on keeping on..... 🙂

March 8th in court next, really lucky as they have transferred it to OUR local court, which saves money and travel/childcare etc. Let's see what this judge makes of it all? fresh eyes?

Before we moved I asked the then SW would the mother ever stop, given we had new SW/Court/Police etc and she said NO!..

It's funny really, she agreed with the supervised contact - contact was 3 weekly, but 2 weekly through SW, so she was win win. But by contesting, I believe that it will hinder her future as there will now be evidence of all the times she kicks off and has contacted SW when she needs not to be involved. Bizarre. Our barrister said that Mothers barrister was only going before the judge to appease the mother... maybe he really know it would hinder her and not have to represent her?!... She shows her true colours every time we're in court - no bra, trainers, leggings with holes in, unbrushed hair, uncleaned teeth and a tesco bag for her overnight stay in a hotel!!!! [censored]!

...Just a few days before us! Dont forget to keep us posted and best of luck! x

My sons ex turned up in court for the Residency case having made no effort...jeans, t-shirt....no bra either! 😆 ...but her barrister must have had words because the second time she arrived in a suit! However as you know, it didnt help her in the end!

ours was the oppisite, smart nice suit, butter wouldnt melt smile, but yet she can send her daughter out in creased holey clothes , stupid cow

Any advice on writing/ what we should put into the "latest" position statement?.....

Thus far have included: Agreement with SS and SW's/Guardian's recommendations - "Supporting" a longer period of contact if deemed appropriate by SS - Agreement to carry on working with pro's involved - agreement to continue to follow court order and CPP (where best in child's interest/safety) - evidence of emotional abuse by mother, which will be followed up with SW's witness statement!.....

Anything we might be missing?...

...That all seems pretty thorough to me Tof! x

Well this is a post that I didn't think I'd have to write! We're breaking up! After reading the guardians statement last week I was told "What do you care you don't love X anyway".....

So, for after nearly 3 years of fighting for someone else's child this is how I am repaid?!.... It beggars belief. I am now treated with short shrift everyday and treated like [censored] (that's why I am leaving!)

It makes me sick to read how women treat men on here, but equally I can understand why. I have been emotionally blackmailed to stay, my "partner" claims his life will be over if I leave and that his daughter will go into care. He has emotionally blackmailed me to say this will effect his relationship with our son, (which it won't).

My biggest fear? Him going back to his family (as I was the "scarlet woman" that robbed them of their son) and him using their money to gain control over my son (like they have with my "partners" daughter)

I have told our SW everything. I have nothing to gain, but my son to loose, so I am not taking any chances.

Nearly 3 years:I have assaulted by his ex wife and her beau, have been threatend to have my face caved in by his ex wife, emotionally abused by him and his family, sacked over night by his dad, leaving us financially cut off with NOTHING whilst I was pregnant. Told by his Mum that I had used him as a sperm donor, and that I had achieved my goal of splitting up their family now that I had "MY" baby....

I am emotionally spent and it seems I have to live like this until our tenancy ends......... I love my son to death - I will protect him with my life - I will not let him suffer like his half-sister...... At 36 I think in truly done with "LOVE"!!!........

Oh Tof! I assumed from your posts that you were solid...You've been through so much as a family, I'm really sorry that it has come to this.
I know how soul destroying it can be when your partners parents are against you....it happened to me.

There are no winners in these situations...you sound like you need a break just to gather your thoughts and regain some strength, is there no one you can go and stay with for a short while? It would help to clear your head and allow you to see things more clearly. I'm just worried that all the stress of the previous months and all the fighting has worn you down to such an extent that you're emotions are all over the place. Just dont do anything that you might later regret.

Oh, that is a post I didn't expect at all - I am so sorry this has happened 🙁 . It may be that the stress has got too much for your partner, but that is still no excuse for what he has said. Only you know what is right for you, but I hope you know that we will give you as much support from here on in, as hopefully we have done in the past.