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My wife and I have been married for 8 years (together for 11 in total) and I have a lovely step daughter who was only 3 when I moved in. She has never known her Biological father who disappeared shortly after she was born. She calls me Dad and though she knows that i am not her biological dad she thinks she's more special because i got to pick her 😉 . I am the only dad she has known but recently she has been a little upset because she has a different surname to her mum and dad - she has his surname. She has been wanting to change her name to my surname for years and finally we think she is old enough to make that decision - I didn't want to force my name onto her or get her to change it without realising what she was doing. She hates having to explain to new school friends why she has a different name to her parents and really doesn't like telling people that I am her step dad.
What are our options ? Deed poll I would guess - would her biological father have to agree to this as we have no idea where he is or how to contact him. He has simply disappeared off the face of the planet and we wouldn't know where to start looking for him.
Any advice you could give would be great.
thx
Normal.
Hi Normal,
I don't have any insights to offer help but I have a few thoughts...
Most of all, you're the ones who know your step daughter the most and have a good idea of her maturity which I think could be key to the timing of the decision.
I imagine that as a teen the need to blend in with peers is important, by having the family surname, so from the outside the timing seems good.
Also, I wonder whether there's an element of making a public statement by physically seeking and at some point getting the same name as your family.
Belonging to peer group and family.
Hopefully others have helpful experiences to share.
Can't help with the legalities, but:
>she thinks she's more special because i got to pick her
I love this. 😀 Brilliant.
Dear Normal,
Thank you for contacting the Children’s Legal Centre, an independent charity concerned with law and policy affecting children and young people.
Whether or not the consent of your step daughter’s father is required in order to change her name will depend on whether he has Parental Responsibility.
The biological father will have Parental Responsibility if;
- He and your wife were married at the time your step daughter was born or married any time after that (regardless of whether they are now divorced);
- If he is registered as her father on her birth certificate and she was born after 1/12/2003 (he will not automatically give him Parental Responsibility if your step daughter was born before this date);
- If he has entered into a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mother, which was on the prescribed form and witnessed by court officials, then filed at the Principal Registry;
- He has been to court and been granted a Parental Responsibility Order or Residence Order at anytime in your step daughters life.
If the father has acquired Parental Responsibility in any of these ways, then his consent would generally be required in order to change your step daughter’s surname.
In some cases, where there has been a considerable amount of time since the father has seen the child, Deed pole can decide that his consent is not required to change the surname.
If the father does have Parental Responsibility and can not be found or refuses to consent, then you and your wife have the option of making an application to court for permission to change your step daughter’s surname. It will be for the court to decide whether this is best for the child, but as there is no contact with the father you would be likely to have a good chance of being successful.
If the father does not have Parental Responsibility, then your wife is the only person who needs to consent to the name change, and the father does not need to be contacted.
Your step daughter will legally be able to change her own name when she reaches 16 years old without parental consent if none of the above options are suitable.
In order to gain further information on changing your step daughter’s name, or to begin the procedure for this, you should contact Deed pole UK on 0800 448 8484 or visit the website at www.ukdps.co.uk .
We hope this information is useful to you. Should you require further advice please contact the Child Law Advice Line on 0808 8020 008 and an advisor will be happy to help.
Kind Regards
Children’s Legal Centre
Well the deed has been done and we now have a little miss Normal4Norfolk.
She's over the moon - thanks 4 all yer help
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