[Solved] This is really starting to get me down…..

Hi dad-i-d,

So sorry to hear how hard things are you right now. If it helps at all you are not alone in having these kind of problems. What kind of legal advice have you sort on this? Have you considered contacting 'The Childrens Legal Centre' ? The link is on the top right hand side of the page. If you click on it, it can take you onto their webpage. They may be able to help you with advice on further action you can take.

Are the contact sessions the only times you get to see your son? How often do you get to see him? I'd just encourage you that even if this is the only time you are seeing him, that he will remember as he grows up that you did see him & hopefully one day he'll be old enough for you to explain why. This doesn't mean that there isn't hope for you to have a good relationship in the future & one where you can truely be together.

Keep us posted on how you get on. Be really good to hear any progress you are able to make.

Springchicken

Court ordered her to make him available for contact, that was beginning of April, (1st April) it took her a month to finally agree to a date for first contact since Boxing day 2010.....she took him and wouln'd let him out her arms to come to me.....this was 3 weeks ago....she did the same last week....again all this is at a 'Supervised' contact center appointed by the court on her lies and scheming ways.....and one that she wanted cos she's too snobby to have a normal contact center where in her words "the druggies, chavs n dregs go" (Snobby moo!!)

anyway today (friday 20th May) is the first hour that i've actually had since an hour in feb at caffcass....and then back to boxing day....

she doesn't understand that this is not about me getting at her for being a b*tch...or other things i'm bitter about....this is purely me wanting time with my son without her controlling every where we play or everything we do together.....he's always safe and always has a good time...he never plays up or asks for her......yet she needs to control everything we do......thats why i took her to court for defined contact....so that my son will always get to see me....and not as n when she decides or doesn't turn up! this is about my son growing up knowing who i am........i was there for his first 2 1/2yrs i saw him every week she let me until Oct 2010 when i had enough n sent the court application.....she then stopped contact and then started lying to the courts.....she made the most horrible claim that i hit my son...she said he'd told her.....i've never struck her or him...never raised my voice to my son.....never needed to even think of it cos he's a good kid and never plays up when he's with me.
Anyway....i'm so happy i got an hour with him this morning.....he remembers so much of what we used to do n did last year....remembers a silly little game we used to play n got me holding back my tears (of joy this time) by remembering that.

anyways.....long way to battle on....just running out of funds is my main worry....i can afford one more court date n then i have to throw in the towel cos i'll end up bankrupt.....i've only my car left to sell....and thats a banger thats worth nothing n needed to get me to work.

Hi dad-i-d

Thanks for your recent post. So glad to her that you got to see your son today albeit for such a short time. It's great to know that he remembered you and your game and felt comfortable with you. I'm sure you take great comfort from that fact and I wish you well with your next court appearance.

It's so sad but so common for this scenario to happen, you only have to read through other posts on here to work that out. There are happy endings to many of the cases, and I know other dads would urge you to keep going, hard I know when there are limited funds available.

Please let us know how you get on.

All the best

Fri 27th May......

I should've had 1 1/2hrs with my son this morning at the "Court appointed" contact centre....well guess what...ex turned up 2 mins to 10am....and stood 10mins clinging on to my son refusing to let him go to the staff who was there to bring him through to me.....then she stormed off!!! 😥
So what now?.....she has broken the court order to make him avaialbe for contact with me....cafcass have witnessed this and now the legally appointed contact people have who were appointed by Caffcass and the courts.
where does this go from here? how long til i see my son again?.....how long before someone tells this woman she cannot do what she is doing to our son!!!!

This is ripping me apart.....i'm on a stronger medication for stress...not depression....stress! my 5month relationship is struggling cos the GF can't get her head around why my ex is doing these things to me and now thinks i'm holding things from her from my past.....i'm not and she knows everything.....maybe i've been too open with her.....maybe i'm just to soft and a walk over.....
this is pathetic......ex won't listen or do what the courts tell her.....i've wasted over £3500 so far with many more £1000s to go by the way this is going....and i don't have those funds....i'll be very lucky to afford my rent next month the way things have gone.....and all this and she has evicted the tenant who was living in the jointly owned house and she's moved back in demanding i pay %50 of the mortgage....which i can't and won't.....more problems....more stress....and still no time with my little boy who i know misses me he told me in the hour i had last friday morning with him.......what on earth can i do next? 😥

Hi again dad-i-d

Thanks for your post today, I am so so sorry to hear what has happened earlier today. I can only imagine the despair you must be going through. It's tragic for you and of course for your little boy and now it seems as if it is also having a negative effect on your relationship too. You are most definitely not soft or a pushover, you are only wanting what countless dads want, to spend time with their children.

I know it's really tough for you right now and it may be that your only option is to return to court and for them to emphasise to your ex how important contact is for your son. It may be worth calling the Childrens Legal Centre for their input (08088 020 008). It's a freephone number.

I know it sounds trite, but I do hope you can hang in there for the sake of your son, because he will benefit in the long run. Perhaps other dads will see this post and can offer you some more support too.

Hi

Unfortunately, she is playing the system and the only way you can enforce the court order is to go back to court - she is in contempt of court, so the court can start penalising her for this, anything from a fine up to a spell in prison. The court doesn't usually award costs against either parent, but it can happen, and if you are having to go back solely to enforce the contact order, then it's worth asking the court to award costs against her - this means she may have to pay some or all of your costs relating to enforcing the court order (not to getting the court order in the first place) if the court agrees.