[Solved] UPDATE

Hi,

Tried posting earlier, but the link takes you to an old thread posted by another user. It's been quite a while since I last posted, so I thought I'd drop by and bring you all up to speed on my situation.

Just to recap I split from my ex in Feb '10 and entered into an amicable and mutually argreed shared residency arrangement to enable us to both take care of our son. We split because she wanted to get married and have another child, whilst I wanted to wait until the economy improved and my business stabilised. Whilst our split was quite ammicable initially, she became pregnant by another man within two or three weeks of leaving and, following a major disagreement regarding the level of contact my son was having with this man, my ex terminated all contact between me and my little boy 😥 .

I didn't see my son for several months and was unable to try mediation due to several unfounded allegations that my ex made against me. I did manage to regain some contact with my son through protracted correspondence with my ex through our respective solicitors 😀 . I became eligible for Legal Aid, but it took over six months to come through and that, combined with my ex's pregnancy, meant that I would not have been able to get an inititial court hearing until Feb/March of this year.

My ex gave birth to her new child in January, but she was no longer in a relationship with the father. From that point on everything changed and she acquiesced to my request for increased contact with my son. I now enjoy just as much time with my son as I did prior to our dispute and, needless to say, I'm absolutely delighted with this outcome 😀 .

I've managed to do this without setting foot inside a court. Although, admittedley, this has purely been through circumstance rather than any design on my part 😕 . I haven't been particularly impressed with my solicitor, or the legal process, during the last 13 months and have felt let down on a number of occasions. Had she not have been pregnant, which protected her to some degree, I would have probably become entrenched in a court battle to regain shared residency, but, thankfully, this did not happen and common sense prevailed.

So I've decided against pursuing any further action in the courts, largely because I now have everything that I have asked for and don't really see what else the court could do? And, let's be honest, if I serve papers on her now regarding a shared residency order, she'd probably stop all contact with my son again out of spite and I perhaps wouldn't see him for several months until we got to court. Who benefits in that scenario? Me? My Son?

So, whilst I continue to view my ex with suspicion and a certain level of disdain, I never let her know it. I'm always polite, but ensure that all of our important communication is via email or text message. Just in case.

One thing that has been constant over the last year or so has been the support and advice I have received from other fathers that use this site. People like actd, Goonerplum, Rik, etc. I really can't thank you enough for your support, advice and kind words.

And to anyone out there going through these problems, I say this, 'don't give up!'. Regardless of how dark it may seem at the moment, it will get better. And, despite the pain and the anger that burns in you right now, you'll be amazed at what you'll be willing to leave in the past in order to enjoy a better future with your child!

Best wishes,

Filmmaker_1970