[Solved] update and more questions than answers

Hi sorry your feeling down about it. we do tend to build ourselfs up in readiness for the hearings. A few more weeks after your long wait is going to fly by. I think you are over thinking and need to wait to see what is written. I would prefer a written one, as the Judge isnt going to be rushed and can make a better statement. I think your ex is in for a big shock and I should imagen by now there well and truly sick of her breaking the arrangements. Try not to worry I think this is a good thing.

AFAIK, you can still self-represent in the high court.

Well 3wks and still no written judgement through.....starting to get a little more than frustrated at courts somewhat inability to stop the ex being like she is (doing what she wants)

I cannot tell you the effects the delays are causing me, i'm struggling to slep at nights.....i've been training quite a lot that has taken my miind off things for a few hours.....but despite being physically tired i'm still laid awake in bed for what seems like hours.

you'd think having been going through this since before i left the ex in 2009 that i'd be used to the broken and poor sleep by now...but i'm not.....i will say that i got better last year when the court orders were in place backing me.....but its getting worse again the more she breaks them and that the courts seem to just allow her!

I totally understand you there, bro. I can kind of cope with the sleepless nights, it's the waking up angry that bugs me! Get yourself a diary. Before you go to bed, write down everything you'd like to offload- both the positive and the negative. Read it when you wake up, and add anything at any time you like- photos, drawings, clippings etc. Buy your child things and put the reciept in it. Get oyurself in a routine of using the diary, and I guarantee that in a week or so the benefits will become self evident and you'll be sleeping like a baby!

Lx :zzz:

Hi. Unfortunatly Judges and courts dont rush , to us its like forever and the waiting can be a killer. Writing a diary is a great idea. I read before going to sleep it takes me into a different world . The thoughts of courts, mediation , emails, how unfair it all is keep me awake and proberbly most people on here. I have been through some very stressful times in my life but this is the hardest . My son has been given a glimmer of hope and we are are praying by the end of April (next court date) things will have moved on enough to make the contact order. Can you write to the Judge and ask if he has sent the statement off. I suppose that would be seen as bugging him. Lets hope it comes real soon

UPDATE

Judgement through..... :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

could not have written it much better had i written it myself.......well ok i could've by taking full care of my child away from her but i'm not that much of a b*stard.....

I won't go in to details but......i've been awarded pretty much what i was expecting and more.....however i'm almost sure she'll not accept this so am not getting hope up that i'll see my little one any time soon......prepare for the worst...anything else is a bonus......thats been my moto and sanity saver this last 2, 1/2yrs.

so.......my next real update should be either......Contact with my little one is going great.........or.......She's appealled and i'm waiting on that hearing.....

so guys.....my advice.......stick to the truth, be honest, don't show weakness and don't ever give in......they will eventually have to play by the rules or face the penalties of the law!!!!

Thats wonderful news! :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:

Brilliant news. 🙂

yippeeee

like i said i'm not holding my breath just yet cos she could still appeal within next 14days i think...but i'm sure if she did that an appeal judge would give the same order
so fingers are crossed hopes are up a little further and we'll see how things go over the next few weeks or so.

small steps (though this does seem to be a nice big leap) will get you there 🙂

Well where do I start with the latest update…….

So as my last update....i got the enforcement order through along with the judgement……what can I say…wow! It could not have been much better for me and damming for her had I written it myself!

So here’s the bit I can share with you…….contact was resumed this weekend….small steps but the best 5hrs I’ve had in six months!
My little one was not apprehensive and was so at ease with me…that was the part I was most nervous about….we talked, played games, with cars, lego, drew pictures etc… all with the same ease that we have always shared….it was just perfect.
Hopefully the ex will allow this to continue and build to weekends and holidays too….we’ll see….if she doesn’t then it’ll be back to court again.

Fingers crossed for things to get much much better as time goes on.

So guys….it will seem bleak from time to time but never give up on your kids and justice will be dealt out.

I’m not going to be disappearing from here and will keep an eye on this forum as it has helped me so much to deal with things as they’ve come up…..the guys n girls here have some very good advice and kind words when I’ve been down in the dumps.
I hope that some of my experiences can help others deal with their situations.

I'm so happy for you Dad-i-d and absolutely thrilled that your contact went so well!

You'd better not do a disappearing act on us....we need you! 😉

I agree - excellent result and we want you on here.

Otherwise we'll be sending that Karma bus around 😀

Fantastic news really pleased it went well. I have good news too , my son is bringing my granddaughter to my home on Saturday this is the first time its been allowed(she's nearly 4) Mediation is going well and hopefully next week over night stays will be nearer then back to court end of April, I think they will adjourn to see how over night stays have panned out and maybe by June my son will get a p r and we can add his name on the BC

So good to hear others are having better times too……long may it continue! :cheer:

Fantastic news dad-i-dad 🙂

Very pleased for you

Just wanted to say big thanks to all the guys n girls on here.....

Yoji…..your article on representing yourself in court and the countless times i asked for advice were a big help to me keeping fighting on.

Big thanks to Yoji, Darren, Actd and the many others here who have shared your stories and experience based advice with me, in my job people with experience beats the “in theory guys” every time!

its a great site and long may it continue to help the many suffering Dads out there who cannot afford the legal bills.

Keep on fighting guys n girls

Thanks d-i-d - I think there's a lot of people on here who would equally thank you for your help.