[Solved] Urgent Advice! Domestic violence with contact order

Hi

The contact order would need to be varied to change the contact arrangement you have at the moment. However, if your ex has concerns about your daughter's safety, she could apply for a variation, and could justify stopping contact until the matter goes to court. She could certainly have a valid argument for making it supervised contact - to be honest, if it was me in her position, I would be doing just that.

I would advise that you look at the reasons for the violent episode and tackle the problem head-on now, rather that wait to see how it plays out, not just for your contact with your daughter, but to resolve the problem, you have with your current wife - I'd certainly recommend you look at something like councelling.

You should also contact the Children's Legal Centre for their advice.

Thanks for your response.

but the thing is, my present wife is yet to register the complaint with social service but she has told to her doctor that I hit her all the time.

now my ex-wife do not have any prove or evidence to request a Supervisor Contact order. Can she raise any such request even she doesn't have any evidence against me?

Hi

I appreciate that nothing has been reported or any action taken. My advice for councelling was not given to cover you if things go pear shaped, it was given to try to sort things out now between you and your wife. It may have additional benefits if things do go wrong, but the idea is to try to stop matters getting worse, and hopefully save the relationship you have at present.

You also said your wife hasn't yet reported you - the word to note there is 'yet' - she could do so at any time in the future so you are best to be prepared early just in case.

With regards to your ex wife, you say she hasn't any proof or evidence - does she know of what has gone on? If she does know, then she could go to apply to court for a variation and you would then be in a position of either having to admit to court that what she says is true, or lying to the court (which is not something I would ever condone) and if you were found out, then it would look extremely bad for you. If she doesn't know, then she has no reason to go to court, but it would still be wise to prepare for the eventuality - and the best way I can see to do this is to sort out the issue with your wife now.

hi there,
i hate to admit- you were right mate. my wife did got to police to register a complained about me but I think this matter will be dissolve within ourselves.

Thing that concern me the most is my ex-wife, sooner or later she will get to know the filthy situation with my wife and would try to use it to get variation in contact order.

My question is, within how many months she can go to the court for variation(cause of my domestic issues) in contact order? I mean by that, can she goes to the court after 6-9months asking for the variation even though by that time the matter will be closed?

Hi

Unfortunate to say the least, but if you can resolved it amicably, then it will make things easier for you all round.

With regards to your ex going to court, as far as I know, the basic prinicple is that either party can apply for a variation at any time, there is no time limit other than children reaching the age of 16, at which point the courts, under normal circumstances, wouldn't make an order. This means that your ex can go back to court at any time in the future, and it would then be for a judge to decide on what is best based on the evidence before him/her - so if the evidence is based on something that may be no longer relevant, then the judge may not place so much reliance on it. As always though, if something can be sorted out by mediation, then this is the best course of action, and a judge would want to see that this has been attempted, and in any event, if she goes back to court for a variation, then I think the first hearing would probably be a conciliation hearing to try to reach an agreement.

Definitely worth having a word with the Children's Legal Centre.

Hi there

I can understand your very real concerns about your contact with your daughter should your ex find out about what is happening in your marriage. Do you think she is likely to find out? Does your wife have contact with her? If not, then it may be that you are worrying unnecessarily.

You've been given some good advice by actd, but perhaps it would be in your interests to talk to the Childrens Legal Centre too for their advice.

You don't say why the violence happened but it would be good if you and your wife could work out why it happened, what lead up to it, and put steps in place to ensure it doesn't happen again. It may be that you need the help of a counsellor to resolve this. Your GP can refer you to a counsellor if he feels it appropriate or you could look yourself at attending an anger management course.

I hope this helps.