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I have been seperated for around 8 months, i have 2 children aged 4 and 7 who until this weekend resided with their mother, i am in the army and it was felt this was the best option at the time, i have been paying maintenance regularly and see them regularly.
This weekend i recieved a message the ex's best friend to ask me to ring her mother, the mother was in tears and the best friend was very concerned about the children, the ex had gone out on friday night and left the kids with her aunty telling her she would be back early to take the kids to theor football training, they recieved a call on saturday morning from my ex just to tell them she wasnt coming back and would see them monday, the aunty had to get the ex's mom to have the boys, the ex was then unreachable by phone for the next 2 days, the ex'x mother was very upset as she didnt know what her duaghter was up to and that she had been left with the boys yet again, thebest friend and mother told me that they had both warned her on numerous occassions to get her life sorted, i have also told her to stop leaving the kids with anyone who will have them and to start being a mom, she is behind on her ent and bills and is being kicked out her house in just over a month. Having spoke to the best friend and mom it was mutually agreed that the boys were not getting the level of care they deserved and that i needed to go and get them, my parents went to pick them up immediately(only becuase they were closer) i informed her local social services about what had happened as there had also been a rumour that she had been beat up by her new fella and was still out drinking with him (the kids always see her hungover or drunk), social services agreed i should take the kids and that due to having parental responsibility i was well within my right. The ex texted me around 24 hours later to say she wanted kids back, she didnt even know for a whole day due to being too busy on the drink. she is now saying she is in court tomorrow to get kids back. Can she get kids back without me even being spoke to by the court? if so. how can i stop it. the boys are not looked after properly, there personal hygiene is a disgrace every time i get them, they have no clothes that fit them but their mom is always in new clothes, she is behind on bills and rent even tho i pay her ample maintenance and gave her 3 months worth of rent when she moved on the understanding she saved her housing beneift for those 3 months, all 1800 quid has been wasted and she hasnt got a penny left. i can offer them stability with no chance of being kicked out of a house and a high quality education. is there any way i can avoid her getting the kids back before a formal court hearing/process.
I think getting as much evidence as possible as to what's happened. Saving texts, emails etc... anything that proves what's going on. Are the school your kids go to aware of any problems re the Mum? They may well have been in contact with social services if they were concerned about such things as hygiene or not getting collected on time. Do you have a solicitor working for you?
I have kept every message she has sent me, facebook text etc from the past 7 or 8 months. not deleted a thing, she can be quite nasty so though i should keep them as proof, i was on the verge of having her done for harassment and malicious communications at one point but didnt want to make anything harder for boys with police etc knocking at their door. i also have text evidence of her drink driving on numerous occassions, her admitting it!
The boys are un known to social services, they are known to them now as before i took the boys i rang them to make them aware of what was going on. I have also kept the text from her best mate who got in touch with me about kids not being taken care of properly. I dont have a solicitor at present, cant really afford one, the ex has had all my spare money from me. I have got them into school here now and am just waiting for a house to be allocated by the military, i want them settled asap as i would assume the courts would be less likely to move them back to her if they are settled, the thing is she has looked after herself and acted like she had no children. she is getting kicked out her house mid Oct for rent arrears, she is behind with bills also. Would she be able to get the kids back through court without me being able to put up any sort of defence as to why they should stay with me? I have no history of violence, abuse etc and there is nothing at all to suggest to any court that they would be in any danger in my care. Thanks for reply
Can she get kids back without me even being spoke to by the court? ........ is there any way i can avoid her getting the kids back before a formal court hearing/process.
She can apply and have whats termed an ex-parte hearing. This is a hearing which takes place without any notice being given to the other party and can take place without the other party being present.
She could get an order during the hearing to have the children returned to her.
There would then be a further hearing later on to decide a proper outcome.
The ex was bluffing, she was not in court today, she now reckons i have to be in family court monday, told her ill wait to hear it officially as i dont know if shes bluffing again. I am going to my local court tomoz with a C100 and C1a to apply for an emergency residency order. Hopefully i get one so i can keep kids whilst this goes through the complete mess of a custody battle.
As you are representing yourself, if you need legal advice, either post here, or contact the CCLC directly - the link is at the bottom of this website.
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