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Hi,
Im not sure where i'm supposed to be writing this but im having trouble with my ex partner allowing me to see my son. I have been having him over night on my days off since moving in with my parents after the split. Now I have my own place with a new partner I have been with for nearly 12 months. All of a sudden my ex partner is saying she needs to see my new house to make sure its 'safe' enough for our son. She very regularly changes the goal posts on when I can see him and even changes her mind about me having him. Since saying this she will NOT make time to come and view my house which means I am losing alot of time with him that we both cherish. My son is 2 and a half and we have been split since he was 1. Have thought about court but I have read some horror stories and just want something written in stone that my ex cannot change when ever she has a bad day. Any help welcome as I am really starting to struggle with it all.
Hi there,
I've moved your post over to this section as you will get more response here.
I'm afraid unless you go to court you won't be able to get anything written in stone....even with a court order your ex can still create problems!
I think her behaviour probably stems from jealousy of the fact that you have moved on, the children are then used as a weapon or a method of control...which is what she is doing by making these unreasonable demands.
Before you consider court action the accepted first step is mediation, it might prove helpful and at least you can get the issues out in the open and discuss them openly, and hopefully reach an agreement. Here's a link to the mediation service
www.nfm.org.uk
Legal aid is still available for mediation, here's a link to find out if you can qualify
www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid
If mediation fails then the only alternative is to apply to court for a contact order. Many dads here have taken this course of action and have done so without a solicitor as this can prove very, very expensive. There is no reason why you would not be successful in obtaining a contact order, unless there are safeguarding issues. If you check out the stickys at the top of this section you will find plenty of info about the court process and self representing.
I agree entirely with mojo - it's jealousy and she's intent on controlling the situation. You have no requirement to show her the house at all, it was just a way she thought she could get you to refuse to comply, so the fact that you are allowing it means she has to resort to other tactics. I'd try to arrange mediation very quickly and then, if that gets nowhere, onto court.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
