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Hi i have 2 boys ages 10 and 6, i have been seperated from their mother for 2 and a half years, i was only allowed to see them each sunday 11am-2pm, it has now increased to 10am-4pm (6hours each sunday) I was happy that i get to now see them more however both them and myself would really like over-night contact, there is no court order and i would like to start mediation, however i cannot send letters to her house, she no longer has a solicitor and her sister (whom is my only way of contact with her family) does not reply to texts asking about this matter, what do i do ? i have been and seen a solicitor but they want to no where to send letters to, and ive been told if any letters go to her house the police will be called, i was not allowed to attend my eldests b-day party earlier this month as the mother does not want to see me, i was told again that the police will be called if i attend even tho it was my son who invited me. there was fighting in our past relationship but was both me and her, no actions were taken and the police never prosicuted as were only minor. what do i do ? i want to have more access to my children but i dont no who to talk to ?
Hi Newquay,
Firstly, the Police will not be involved if you are sending polite letters regarding your increasing contact.
I would in all honesty, forget Mediation and approach it from this way:
- Raise a Contact Application C100 (Guide at the top of Legal Eagle). This can also show what level of Contact your after. I dare say yours would be: Weekly Contact Friday @ 6pm until Saturday @ 6pm or what you would ideally like, or be able to commit to
- Under the Section regarding Mediation i would put the following sentence: "The Applicant has wanted for Xmonths for Mediation to commence. The Respondent has not wanted any form of dialogue, and any attempts have been met with the threat of Police involvement. In the first instance, the Applicant feels Mediation would be a sensible route"
- For the Contact Order, treat it as though she will be acting as a Litigant in Person (LIP), and use her address in the Contact Application.
- Follow the instructions in the guide and send the form off to the Courts.
A word of warning. If you do this, its highly likely given her apparent nature (from what you are saying) that Contact will be stopped. This can be re-ordered at your first hearing (called a [child] dispute resolution hearing) to have the previous contact re-instated with immediate effect.
If she Contacts you in the meantime, you need to say calmly that, because she is refusing to talk on the issue, this is the action you are going to take, you don't feel the 6hrs a week are enough, and you are seeking overnight stays.
Any other questions or specifics, feel free to ask away 🙂
to stress one point above, if she contacts you, at all costs keep calm and do not make any comments etc that would look bad on you in court - you have to make sure that she has nothing she can use against you, it will make your job much easier. Keep a diary of all events and conversations if you haven't already started one.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
