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Good Afternoon Everyone.
I'm Andrew and father to the most amazing little boy Charlie who is 9 months old.
Unfortunately Charlie's mother and I split up when Charlie was 3 weeks old (the writing was on the wall for the best part of 5 months). I have tried to see Charlie as much as possible but his mother is being rather difficult about the situation.
I have applied for a court hearing because what I have been given is nowhere near enough what I want because Charlie needs both his parents in his life not just the one.
I currently see Charlie 6 hours a week on the weekend, I proposed that Charlie spends 3 hours on a Tuesday and Thursday with me one week and Tuesday for 3 hours and then Friday - Sunday (overnight access) week 2. My ex partner went ballistic about what i suggested and came back with Tuesday for 3 hours and 6 hours on the weekend and overnight stay on the last Friday of every month.
Can you please help me with this as I think what I am hoping for is more than reasonable and quite frankly what Charlie's mam is suggesting is disgusting.
Many Thanks
An heartbroken daddy 🙁
Hi Andy,
I would say that what you have asked for is fair.
Have you and your ex tried mediation? Going to court is a good way of starting things moving but the judge may ask you to attend mediation before they are prepared to enforce an order.
Darren
Hi Andy and welcome 🙂
I would accept what she is offering for now but suggest you both attend Mediation, once around the table with a trained mediator to guide you both, she might be more amenable.
Perhaps you could suggest a gradual increase over the next three months, until it meets the amount of contact you are asking for. That way it gives her time to get used to the break away from her little one. ...to ask for a full weekend straight away might just be a bit daunting for mum as Charlie is still quite a young baby.
Hi Andy,
I'm brand new to the site (in fact this is my first post on the forums).
What both Nannyjane and Darren are saying is true with regards to Mediation. I have been through the Courts system and Mediation is the first step. If nothing can be resolved there then alas, Courts is the only way to go. You would have to apply to the Courts for a defined Contact Order which would stipulate times, dates and regularity of contact.
My advice to you would be to keep an up-dated diary of every communication that you have with your ex regarding your little boy. If you can, have any communication via a `hard copy`. What I mean by that is try to avoid telephone conversations. (Unless you plan to record them). Communicate via text or e-mail and when communicating with her, do not be disrespectful to her (I know how the ex can wind us up but we have to show the Judge who is the calmer and `bigger` person). Do not swear or bad-mouth her, be precise and polite when making a point and most importantly of all.... STAY CALM!
I had the ex from [censored] but by me following the above steps, I was able to seek and successfully gain a Residency Order for my three year old boy. He now lives with me full-time (I am a single parent) and his mum has `visits`. The Courts are starting to realise that sometimes the kids are not always better off with the mothers.
Good Luck and if you need any advice, feel free to get in touch.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
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